+i.can.be.as.bitchy.as.you+

2010-01-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

Firstly i'd like to say happy new year to everione. though im late 10 daes or so, still i wish you all a great year ahead.

2010 is looking great so far for me. pointers.

i got a new job
im getting my diploma
im getting engeage real soon
drivers liscence & bike liscence.

mintak2, what i wished for my new year would come true, cos 2009 wasnt being that nice to me.

-*-

tomorrow will be monday, work again. =.=" sometimes it feels like you grow up too fast when all this happens and all u want is to be in kindergarten again. lol. i guess tomorrow i have to OT again. hais. today im thinking of meeting fadli, but idk lah.

2009-12-18T05:11:00.000-08:00

im at work now. waliaoo da lame tk update okay. so its december already, so fast right? i feel like the time flew so fast that i myself cant believe that i'll be getting engage with my dearest sometimes not dear boyfriend. (:

ive already gotten the stuffs for hantaran n gosh, i think i spent almost to 3k for everything. siak ahh. haha. but its worth it right? i mean im getting engage to someone that i really love.

this past few weeks has been great between us, no more fights, we're too busy preparing for our engagement ceremony that we dont even have time to fight. ok maybe alittle fight, but that dont mean we're not getting engaged ryte? there was alot of miscommunications between us, but im happy we came to point where both of us stop all our childish attitude.

GREAT NEWS! we bought our ring last week and its gonna be a suprise to everyone sia. haha (: i just love the ring.

so this is my update, (for now) getting back to work and meeting baby soon in a few minuites time, hes fetching me (:

toodles~

2009-11-26T06:45:00.000-08:00

i envy those who leads a happy relationship.

i thought i had the best boyfriend god could ever give,

the best man god have created...

yet, i was wrong.

i am surrounded by lifeless sounds,

endless cries,

a bucket full of tears,

and a life full of regret.

i thought i met the one,

yet i was wrong.

i thought HE was the one,

yet i was wrong again.

once bitten, twice shy.

bitten once,

twice,

thrice,

yet, i still dont learn from mistakes.

i have given my best,

care,

concern,

trust,

patience,

most importantly,

love.

but i failed.

it was never supposed to be..

but why did i force us?

2009-11-25T07:48:00.000-08:00

being single is not at all bad,

you get to make new friends.

you can enjoy as much as u want,

you get the chance to be free.

9months, 9months of patience, and ive had enough.

its all too much.

on the first few months till our 5th, i caught him contactin with another girl behind my back. 8times.

i mean, its fine if you want to contact the opposite sex, but he doesnt allow me too, he gets jealous and mad over a simple hello text from my guy friends. so tell me, isit fair if i let hym have the chance to contact girls when i dont?

8times might seem little, but believe me, its alot of bullshit within months.

he tells people his not in a relationship. he tells people that hes out with ''old friends'' yahhhhh. how old can i be?

then after, after he stopped all his bullshit, he started stepping on my head, criticising me ALOT of times. sometimes i just feel that im being used. i feel that ive had enough. even if i explained, people wouldnt understand, because they're not the one who has to face all this. sometimes i wonder, what did i do wrong in my past to deserve such treatment. i have tried to be the best and make effort to giving hym a happy life, even if some were through materials most were through my sincere care. i worked hard even when i was not supposed to due to an illness, yet i did so as i could get hym the watch. i waited for hym every single day when he was in brunei. and i cried every night. yet, to him, im just not worth a bit of respect. everytome he hurts me, he apologise. but when will he realise, that i dont need it i just need a little bit of repect from hym, i told a friend once,

"kenapa die suka treat aku mcm gini, and kenape susa sngt untok aku lpaskn die?"

and he tells me "aku rasa, lagi bgos kau lepaskan die sebelom nnti lagi susa. lagipon, dari cara die treat kau, mmg die baek, tpi kau bnyk maafkn die dlm semua silap die, jadi bagi die, kau tkkn tglkn die, walaupun ape kau ckp btol. kau tu tk kuat. itu silap kau"

yet i said "aku pecaya die akan ubah.. aku tau die akan ubah, die syg aku. die tk sengaja saketkan hati aku. cara die sampaikan yg sala."

i love him too much to ever let go. i hold on to something that is never gonna change into a bed of roses. but i pray hard, that whatever i go through would be by the best. n yes, ill still stand by him, i still want him to change, and ill wait for it, even if it means he'll change after im only gone.

2009-11-18T08:16:00.000-08:00

love, i miss you so much.

despite of being in such complicated situations, i still love him.

hes the air i breathe beb.

i got a job, and im startin on 2nd december,

n yerrp, im still takin the diploma's bebehh.

aleast with this job my engagement wont be that stressful.

and yeayyyyy, mumys back from the hospital.

i miss her tho.

ive been missing school this few daes,

since mumys in the hospital. i had to pay attention to her.

so tomorrow ill be back in school tomorrow.

i miss my frens ):

i guess thats all i can post for now.

to zulfadli ; u mepek la! tkmu crik pasal la. ok.

love you.

2009-11-10T03:00:00.000-08:00

I always wanted to be the girl he always thinks of when he first opens his eyes.

i wanted to be the girl he thinks of that will forever be by his side.

i wanted to be the one who wake up and look beside to.

i wanted to be the person beside him, when he says i do.

i wanted to be the girl his mom will love.

i wanted to be the girl that he will treasure.

i wanted to be sumone he alwaes remember,

i wanted to be someone, he turns to when in pressure.

i wanted to be the reason he smiled,

i wanted to be there when he cried.

i wanted to be the one who wipes his tears away,

i wanted to be the reason he want to stay.

i wanted to be the reason he wants to breathe,

i wanted to be the reason he wants to live..

but most importantly i wanted to be his favourite hello,

and his hardest good bye.

but i was the opposite of evryting i wished he live for.

2009-11-08T06:43:00.000-08:00

i was getting ready to go out with boyfren (he who took this picture!) so than we wanted to head town but khai cancelled cos atin wanted to go home. derhhh. so than we headed to tamp mall to have my late dinner. iyer.

so than we headed to east coast for a bottles up down side left kick drink.

then our next stop, butterfactory with atin n khai, huda and anis den baby n me.

it was packed, and if i were to put it in words i'll say,

no more butterfact ok ayang.

alast, the moment ive been waiting for. to hug him again in my arms. (:

2009-11-05T06:44:00.000-08:00

to start of the day i went to bedok interchange in the noon to get my fone. then me n tina had our lunch at kfc and it was raining heavily. ergh! so than i went off with tina to bugis and shopped for my clothes, than we went to bhg to get a perfume hamper for fadli's engagement gift, then we went to body shop to get soap too. we walked n walk till it was 6+. and my goddd. i was so tired then we went to bedok to meet my mum and we proceeded to a mak andams house. I GOT MY MAK ANDAM READY! (: tina n mumy see me changed. malu la saye.. then i got the baju for my tunang and also my mak andam. alast i feel alittle bit relieved. though i must say, theres still so much for me to do. ): n thanks tina for accompanying me all the way.

yipedeedaa yipedeeyay, tomorrow zul will be back from brunei.

alhamdullilah. i miss him so much.

his parents will be fetching me tomorrow to the airport to fetch him home. oh yeay!! i get to hug n kiss him again! I MISS HIM! n i obviously know he misses me too. babyyyyyyyy! i love you now! cant wait to meet u! (:

2009-11-03T09:28:00.000-08:00

i miss my boyfrend so much. he use to tuck me in to sleep every night. and now i dont even get to hear his voice. and everytime im at my voiddeck waiting for my frens or whoever to lepak wif me, i remember waiting for hym. then when i sit with my frens i remember hym sitting at his fav spot. then when i get back home from school sometimes, i tend to go to the carpark and see if his bike is there. and it hurts me to see that it isnt. sometimes when i hear the sound of r6 or gilera under my void deck, i'll quickly shove over anione who blocks my way to the window to see if its him, and when its not, i get upset. then sometimes, when i hear the phone rings, i feel the butterflies in my stomach as though he's the on calling but when i get to know that its not, i'll cry myself off in my room. i miss him so much. ive not talked to hym for days, and everything i do i think of hym. i dont know why, but i know that i really need hym.

i miss you so much zulfadli. i need you.. come back. i cant go on like this.

2009-11-02T21:28:00.000-08:00

I MISS ZULFADLI.

hehe. tk abes2 kan? imissyou pegi, imissyou balek.

but i really miss hym. yesterday i had the best tyme out with tina, we went for a walk at the mall than dinner. like i said, the best friend i've eva had. and ok, thanks for calling me jakon beb. hahah. (: evasince zul's away, she has been the one whoos shared my laughter. and my tears. thanks for being there. nk ckp mcmne, die kwn aku susa senang. SAYANG KAU. tapi malang nye ade org kecokn die la kan. n psl org tu, die susa. biase la, mcm aku ckp.. pmpn skg, bitch gossip slalu psl relationship org. and slagi org tu tk putos lagi dorg tk puas.. LOL. tkde life.

my mum once said, untuk idop senang, kite mesti nk respect org, baru org respect kite. to live happy, just concentrate on ur own life, n not others, n my dad use to say, dont think of others just think of your family, yourself and ur love ones. because noone will bother to think of how you feel in the end. in this world, there are no such things as TRUE friends. there are only LOYAL friends but in a million, there's only one, u have to get lucky to get that 1 and so i know mine.. after thinking thru of what my parents ALWAYS remind me, i realised.. even if i dont bother people's life, THEY BOTHER MINE. even if i respect others, THEY DONT RESPECT ME. even when i think of them, THEY DONT THINK OF ME. so then my dad used to say this phrase that will always linger in my mind. "kalau ade org tk suka kau, brani nk ckp psl maruah, brani gangu idop kau, kau diam kn, kau tngk brape lame die bole thn lyn diri die sorg" and my mum will say "tapi kalau btol da melampau... heh.,"

and for that i conclude, i have alwaes stay patience. but i must say..

never test a silent woman's patience.

getit?

*********************************************

ohyahorrr. im lukin for mak andam for the engagement. n i need help. anione. help me plsssssss. i hav 2 mnths left. ):

2009-11-02T19:49:00.000-08:00

even when i smile, you know that deep inside im missing someone whom i treasure most. i miss zulfadli soo much.

todays the third of november, yesterdae was my day, but too bad for me, my dearest wasnt close to the eyes, but yet very close to my heart. its been 4 daes since ive heard his voice, n i truely miss hym. sometimes i cry myself to sleep becos i just miss the kissess he gives me before i go to bed, even if its only thru the fone or better yet real life. i miss it. my nights of sleep have not been complete without him. we cant call each other, so what if something bad happens to me? or what if something happens to me? the thot of it just makes me shiver. im waiting for him to come back into my arms and give me those tender kissess i lovee. i just want him to come back. NOW. i miss you so much zulfadli. plss, come back into my arms. i need you. i love to live with you. )':

2009-11-01T02:11:00.000-08:00

hello kawan2!

nari aku ade citer best eh.

korg nk tau citer tk.

ade la satu pmpn ny die add aku kat fb, shared acct aku ngan zul la kn.

so happen ni pmpn aku tk knal la die sape,

jadi ni pmpn aku tnye die, do i know u.

die reply balek, im zul's friend. sorry i dint know that this was ur profile.

skali aku pikir2 ape eh deni.

da tentu ade name FAD FANA.

dol pe dol.

okay, tapi tkpe. letak tu sume tepi la kan.

LEPAS ITU kawan2..

aku tngk la die pe gmba2 la kan.

fuhyoooooo ade die nye gmba atas r6 BAKAL TUNANG aku la sey.

tenga posing mcm nk pelok tu r6 bawak balek gi ruma die.

and macam semacam gitu kan gmba tu.

macam semacam baru upload la kan.

lawa gmba tu tau. JEALOUS aku tngk.

skali ape lagi, comment la gmba, ckp "do i know this bike"

skali die msg aku, kau nk tau ape die ckp?

Babe,dont get me wrong for adding you. Zul and a friend of mine in the same camp. My friends and I are planning to throw a surprise welcome back party . Since my friends and I da lamer tk jumpe zul,we're inviting him. So,hope you can join us too.=)

Fad Fana November 1 at 2:17am
so, i want to ask you, r6 tu kat gmba sape nye eh. curious ah aku..
***** November 1 at 2:20am
it was zul's.
Fad Fana November 1 at 2:21am
ouhhh. zul punyer..

jadi itu crite die. tapi pelik bin ajaib eh, asal die delete aku pe comment pat die eh? and mamat? who's mamat? tkya bodek nk ajak aku gi tempat gini seme beb. aku lebih mulia siap2 untok hari penting aku. mcm tk malu eh kau?

aku akan tngu saat nye zul balek, and im gonna ask who the hell u r. and beb, kalau kau brani nk rosak kn hubungan aku ngan zul mcm sundal2 yg pena try nk buat ni seme buat, aku pancong kau pe tangan. aku da muak ah ngan pmpn2 ni seme nye prangai. korang tkde malu pe matae org korg ckp matae kau,. motor matae org korg ckp moto matae kau. nk step mane pe hotstuff je eh? kalau zul btol nk main2 kn aku mcm sume sundal2 tu cakap, die tkkn nk tunang ngan aku and merapatkn siratulrahim ngan keluarga each other.

jadi skg aku ckp eh, korg punye trick and tactic, budak secondary school da bole buat. korang nk maen game. aku tk pasal. kite tngk sape yg menang ngan sape yg nanges tiarap.

2009-10-31T04:58:00.000-07:00

i miss you so much.

only a few hours and i feel like as though a part of me is missing.

i miss your tender kisses.

i miss your warm hugs.

i miss the butterflies i have when ur close.

i miss the whisper of you tellin me you love me,

i miss the sight of you.

i miss the times when u made me mad.

i miss the time when u force me to kiss you when i got mad.

i miss the times when u bite me cos i was being a bitch towards you.

den again i miss the times when i rested in your arms.

i miss those times that u blocked those harms away.

i miss those times when u kiss my hurt away.

i miss those times when u hold me tight when i was cold.

i miss the times when u look into my eyes than kiss me on my forehead.

the times when u make jokes that are stupid.

the times when u kiss n blow on my cheek like i was a baby.

when u stroke my hair and tell me that i smell nice.

when u kiss my hair than say that u love me.

when u hug me tight at the beach n tell me that you cant live without me.

and when u tell me that u need me.

and tell me that u will always love me n only me.

i miss you baby.

so very much.

:'(

baby pls come back into my arms quickly,

u seem to be the air i breath,

and now with you gone, its like im suffering from asthma.

baby, i miss you. n my tears will never stop rolling down the cheeks that u always kissed, and it wont stop until ur back in my arms. i miss you zulfadli,.

2009-10-30T23:53:00.000-07:00

if you had to asked if i love him, id answer so much.

my love has gone for brunei this morning at 1030hrs.

for 7 days, im gonna feel so empty wifout hym.

i know its only for awhile, but im so used to him being around, i just cant bear to see him go.

at 0745hrs just now, his parents ; my soon to be in-laws,

fetched me.

we went to the airport and there was the last tyme i got to see hym, to see hym smile so 'gairah' for the trip. but too bad for me, i dint get to see him to departure cos the place was under consturction. but he called. before he entered the departure, while me and his whole family including his grandparents and uncles was at McDonalds, where he bought for me the mcgriddle i wanted to eat so much he called me to say "syg, i da nk masok tau.. u jage diri baek2 k. ingt jgn notty2, and happy advance burfdae.. sorry i tkde for ur bdae. love u, muacks." i smiled, cos i thot we wud get to see each other at the departure. but i was wrong. again i was upset, so i kept quiet throughout my way out the airport when ina, his sister said, "sedih eh". but i just smiled "den she said again, "satu minggu je" and i smiled again. when we were at the entrance of terminal 2 waiting for his dad to pick us up. he called ina's phone. and there he wanted to talk to me again n there he said "i pakai public phone tau call, free seh.. best eh? bole bergantong lame2" and i laugh, cos he was still the same slenge he was. then he said again "asal suara u lain, tkmo nanges la.." i dint want to say a word cos i was scared i'd burst into tears. so he just said "tc k syg. i love u." and i put down the fone.. so there i was in the car, sad. i reached home, n i quickly called hym, but he couldnt answer. then he rached brunei n called me. n now, i cant contact hym animore.

the reason im sad is because he's the only one i hav left to entertain me, he's the only one whose gonna be there for me, but then, i still have my girls. esp tina. tq for makin me feel better. i feel so lonely, when im at home im a bestfriend to the wall bcos noone talks to me or even look at my face, its gonna be my burfdae soon and yet, i have to bear all this..

baby, i'll wait for you to come back. then we're gonna party rite? i love u so much zulfadli.

2009-10-28T06:08:00.000-07:00

my blog is soo dusty, i know.

everytime i want to update, i seem to get something else better to do, for example, go out.

so the pictures below were taken on the 24th, still ALOT MORE, but since blogger is fucking slow at uploading photos, most of it is at facebook. email = zulana09@hotmail.com to those who havent added me yet. so last week on the 24th, my dearest boyfren brought me out to have dinner at popeyes and so we went to singapore flyers, than i went back home since my family wanted to celebrate my burfdae cos boyfren n my parents wont be here this week ): bf's off to brunei on my burfdae, wek wek wek. mummy got ot den my dad is on a trip with his frens. so im left out. but who says i cant make the best of it ryte? so since bf said he wanted to bring me out on the 7th instead to celebrate my dae REALLY. he says its a suprise, but i hate suprises. tell me!! all i noe is that we'll be going to either butterfactory, or st james. MAYBE! butterfactory.

ok, let me share a secret to you guys, but dont laugh. when i heard huda mentioning butter factory, i thot it was a factory, special factory making butters, cos during the hot season of H1N1, there was an article bout the butterfactory closing down, n damn i had no idea it was a club, k aku slenge.

so than since bf said he wanted to try something new Butterfac is on the list. (;

2009-10-28T05:37:00.000-07:00

2009-10-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

today, i went to shop with mummy for heels and skirts etc. :D

so happy to get me a new heels.

tomorrow will be thursday then soon fridae, pejam celik its gonna be my burfdae soon. :)

i don quite know whats goin on but i just pray for the best.

well i wanted to thank alot of people so just to be frank,

thankyou to those who have been my pillar of suppot, my shoulder to cry on, my ears to listen, my sea to calm me, and most importantly... my friend whose alwaes beside me. its been rough on me n fadli, but u all gave the best you could so that i wouldnt give up.

i never though i could meet friends ; so true.

2009-10-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend"

yesterday, me and the bf went to some jewelery shops,

and we got the rings for our engagement

alast, im counting down the days..

i cant wait!

then when i talked to my brother, i knew something was missing..

but i dint quite exactly knew what.

till my brother said "cincin da dpt, baju da dpt blom?"

and there i was staring blankly to his face for a mili sec, and i said..

"eh a'ah siak! baju aku tk pk!!"

lol. so there.. so many things to think about.

i just hope we both can manage.

2009-10-07T00:31:00.000-07:00

one day, i went out with a girlfren of myne n we went to a place called the esplanade. i found ourself bored so i decided to call a guy whom i knew for quite some time then to meet us up. so happened this guy was out at the cemetry to visit his late father, and at that point of time, i dint know that, but he agreed. so this guy said to me "i tkde extra helmet tau." and i said, its ok.. i just want to meet u up and let us create a better bond, i can go home with my fren, dun worry. so than this guy came down with a fren of his. we sat at esplanade and talk alot of bullshit, but i knew that me n hym were shy, so back than we dint talk alot. than this friend of hys said he was hungry so we went to eat at the food court near there, and to our suprise this guy, (his fren) ' R karat ' lol. so we continued disturbing him asking him to say words that he found hard to pronounce, beside knowing that he was eating. than, when we wanted to hail a cab home, they told us that they brought helmets and why dont we want to ride with them. so we did, and we spent more tyme. eventho the clock striked 12 , we were still bowling together and laughing so much that my stomached hurt. jokes were made and laughter was so loud that people were staring, but we couldnt care less. so than we continued to bowl and when the time was up, i thot we would make our way back, but we didnt. we went to arab street for a sheesha moment. and there was the place where i looked at hys eyes, and there n then, i knew, he was the one.

as time past, i thot that maybe he dint hav feelings for me, as he was taking things slow. and i was ready to go ani moment. so one day he brought me to a place called fort rd, and we talked, just the two of us and he said "i like you, but im just not ready to be in a relationship" and from that moment, my heart shattered, and that was when i knew, i LOVE him. so after a few more daes, he brought me out again this time a double date with my gf n his bf. we went to pasir ris park. me n gf had our imaginations run wild before the 4 of us met. and when we met and sat ryte at the waterbreaker, there he was, asking me to be his. eventhough my face had not even a dap of powder. i couldnt stop smiling cos i was so happy. and then i got to know, that my gf too was in the same situation as me. and when we went off from there, we were no longer a single. but more of a couple.

ever since the day i met hym, i like so many things about him that even if i wrote it down, it would go endless. i met a guy so true to his werds, but even when he betrayed me, i still couldnt let go. i neva knew, a guy would change for me, like he did. i never knew a guy who would stay with me as the sun set and rise again just to comfort me, even when he's shagged. and i never knew another guy, who cant fail to tell me that he loves me every night jus to let me have my sweet dreams eventhough we were high tide. i love everything about hym. i love what i am with hym n also what he is. and i never would have imagined us together like this so close to each other. not only does he love me, he loves my family, not only do i love hym, but i cherish hys family too. therefore, when i look at hym sometimes i keep on wondering, is he true? and i dont need his lips to say yes. but he, he prooves it to me that he love me in every way i am. and im proud to be part of hys life and even more than a girlfren soon in january. i am proud to be hys;

muhammad zulfadli bin ****

i love you so much.

2009-10-06T04:43:00.000-07:00

hey people.. well sorry for keeping this blog of myne dusty, been long since i last updated. well not much to say. only that my bdae cumin soon!! yeahh.

well times have been rough for me n zul. our family have talked and set the date, and to be honest, im not ready. i feel like ryte now im building a wall in the center of me n hym. its not like i want to, but i feel that he has betrayed me more than enuf. WAY MORE THAN I THINK HE WOULD.

well what i can say now is, i hope he changes his ways. or maybe, life just have to go on; without him.

& to korang2 yang tak abes2 jage tepi kain org, name aku ni sedap sangat eh korg nk bobual sal aku? korang tkde keje lain ke nk bobual sal idop orang? pls la, grab a life. so what kalo aku da nk tunang, sedihhh nye korg seme ny. tkde hot topic laen eh? sedih eh pompan mcm kau nye bitch gossip stop at fana n fadli getting engage eh, kalau jealous blg k? kalo korg nk tolong aku siapkn brg2 hantaran pon blg la kn, tkya nk spread rumors smpi 1 singapore nk kene tau.

& oh, sape2 yg terasa, sorry la kan. pedaas eh?

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

2009-09-22T02:13:00.000-07:00

yesterday, the 2nd day of raya, me n boyf went out to celeb our anni, and above is what he got for me, design for my helmet n also a guess bag. ty baby.. you alwaes make me smile.

and raya. it was oh-ok.

boyf family dining, and my uncle family at our house

happy moments

dad.

2 brothers penat jln raya

NENEK KU TERSAYANG

MUMMY AND DADDY!

OUR SIBLINGS!

STRESS

2009-09-14T05:01:00.000-07:00

today was the monday bluezz. when i woke up today, i thot that maybe today is gonna be a great day, puttin aside the fite im having with my parents. i started of happy early in the morning, till the boyfriend text me about the tunang thingy, and i got real fucked up. seriously, at that point of tyme i was really pissed off, tpi aku tnga puasa jadi aku tk maki2 la kan. so than i decided to just put my hp aside, and continue with school. SO!, i had a test, and it started of like shit cos i dint noe a single thing bout it. naninaya kinabalu. i was stressed up, n my head was aching. seriously it was. demam skejap. den i received 2 text frm the boyf n a text frm mum. but i dint want to say much. so i only replied mums text calmly, eventhough i was actually mad at the way she talk to me. tapi sbagai anak, aku sabar la kn. amek kau fana. so i finally finshed the test alhamdullilah. so i got it done nteman-ed tina to help her with a burfdae card for her boyf. aku penat. serious.

to my boyfriend. i am so stressed up ryte now, u should be more understanding, im in bad terms with my parents because of you too isnt it? i got projects to settle, 3 projects, i got mock test n suck. u as my boyf pls.. understand me n give me space.

skg aku nk ngadu nasib la kan. aku lapar blom makan senonoh dary tadi. sumbat mulot ngn kueh ngan roti je. lapar ):

ps. to whoever who viewed my blog can atleast tag me not? i see my numbers rising but i dunoe who leyy. a simple hi will do.

2009-09-04T01:54:00.000-07:00

i am so shagged. i slept the wholeee night sampai maid aku kejot pon aku tk bgon. tido mampost skali. haha. im missing fadli so much, we got better. so since its fridae, yipeee. i get to meet hym. gonna meet hym late tonite i guess. (: so yesterdae, i went to pasir labar camp, btol tk aku spell? k, so we went to spend the morning there cicuiting around the whole place with the sun shining ever so brightly, and the weather so hot i could melt. alooot of pictures were taken n i'll have to wait for it (: so yesterday after the excursion, i wanted to pamper myself since i was really tired and shagged and really dehidrated. so i went to cp to get my eyelashes done, thank-q tina for accompanying me (: then i went to the saloon to re-perm my hair. awww, it feels so good! fresh balek siak. thank-Q atin teman aku yerr. (: i hope fadli likes my new hair (:

mend it not break it

2009-08-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

hello peeeople.

well obviously its 2:24 am and i still cant get my eyes shut. i feel so stressed up ryte now and idk whats the reason. currently in my room ryte now thinkin of what me gonna do next. I feel so bad i still cant forgive fad. well i tried, tell me i dint? well fadli i noe you gonna be reading dis sooner or later ryte since uve read all the other posts and kept my link in ur drafts. well. ive tried my best to try to forget all the things that you did towards me, like:

you contactin other gals when i cant cntct guys. 6 times. after one another.

than you saying that u dunoe the gals when i viewed their profile when ; u actually knoe them.

when you took advantage of what you thot idk then lie to my face.

when you knew MOST of the girls wanted to destroy us but u dint realise it, till now.

sorry, not most but all.

when you said several things to hurt my feelings without noeing it.

when u basically ignored me n let me beg for your forgiveness.

i talk u look somewhere else.

you see, all this things hurt me in a way or another.

you just dun realise it till now.

i know youre willing to change and im willing to forget n start a fresh, but how sure am i that all this wont repeat? to muhd zulfadli, kite da nk betunang, sampai biler u nk mcm ny? we already set the date, we already planned to look for the stuffs this coming october. but if you continue your ways how are we suppose to get engage? do you expect me to bear with all this things over n over agin till i faint n vomit my heart out? dlm hubungan mesti ade dugaan, me myself have alot of wrong doings but i never played behind your back. i have always tried my best to stick with u.. cos whenever i know sumone new, to me, they can never be compared to you, they're boring. i dun ask for much, just for you to mend your ways, i'll guide you. and at the same time you guide me. to love is not to love sumone perfect zul but instead love someone imperfect perfectly, ive told you this so many times. when i give you cold shoulders then u realise that you've done wrong. and you told me you have noone else except for me, i can never bear to see you sad neither can i bear to see you alone, thats why all this while ive tried soo much to make you feel that you're not alone.. you have your family to turn to, you have me. and also my family. they have always treated you like their own n never diffrenciate you to any of us. to them you're like their own son, infact sumtimes they turn to you more than me. how much more do you want. i have not only sacrificed everything, i have also sacrificed my life for you, us and even our family before remember? pls. if you want us to still be us, mend ur ways. stop all this things that you have done, than lets live a life so fresh that it seems like we just got together. forget bout all the misunderstanding, the quarrels, the problems and all the fucking bitches who tried to ruin us. and start a fresh with me. remember what we promised to each other??

we'll lead a life, a happy life. make our family proud, then raise our own family. insya'allah. kalau kite berubah untok kebaikan hubungan kite, doa ibu bapa kita, dan kita sendiri akan terkabul.

GAYS

2009-08-30T01:47:00.000-07:00

hello dearling. lol. im so bored ryte now n yeahh atin, i read ur blog bout the raz alvaro thingy. ryte now, i wonder why the want to become gays? ergh. yuckies. today is the 30th and its the 1week + of fasting. i want to fast but keadaan tk mengizinkan la kan.

so a few daes ago i had a fyte with the boyf, n we resorted to a break up, he asked for forgiveness as u can see in my twitter. ryte now, i just don think i can hold on to tight. idk, the feeling is diffrent and im too hurt by all the stuffs that he did. i wonder what i should do ryte now. haiz. yayoo.

ok so ryte now im waiting for sumone to go online and send me my SONG!!! ERH! plzzz. cepat online. ok adios.

2009-08-27T00:20:00.000-07:00

i am hungry. =.=" seems to me like im on a diet when im not. ergh! stop it stomach. stop making sounds.tomorrow will be fridae. i cant wait!! (: i just wanna see boyf n hug hym so tight n i wont let go. bite his arms den kiss hym till he faints. i miss hym so much ryte now. ):

YAWNS!

2009-08-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

i am soo sleepy, yawns* i cant sleep ryte now cos im having a small argument with the boyf. haiyoo. stress-oo. i have yet to finish my project 2 modules. n i have yet to understand what im trying to do. i feel so useless ryte now. i am sorry boyf i started the fight. its just that i cant stand us to be apart for this 6mnths. im sick n tired of u having to book in all the time. how are we suppose to plan ahead with this bothering us. im just sorry. maybe im too afraid that if anithing bad happens to me, ur not by my side. since my burfdae, you wont be in singapore either. hais. but this msg of his made me more confident in us.

the boyf : abeh u fikir i suke buat keje ny seme? aru ord je sign on stay insampai 6 bulan campur ngan budak2 ns. otak boleh mati seh. apa i fikir cuma our future n our family. dat's wat ive been doing, apa yang i tklei buat seme i buat, i yakin kn diri i.

the boyf again : i also feel the way u feel. u rindu i, i lagi rindu u. u sayang i, i lagi sayang u. u bagi i kiss remix, i bagi u triple remix. ni semua dugaan kene tempuh. sabar k, lagi 4bulan je, pastu bole hooray2 same2.

& again : we wont loose each other. kite tawaqal je. everyday i think of you, everyday i pray for your safety. i hope we undastand each others priority. kite da besar nak kene ada tanggung jawab. u finish ur skewl wif flying colours, i pass out my course with high flyers. patu kite amek diploma same2.

and with that said, he made me feel all better. thank you lover. i went to tamp 1 just now to collect my ring and boyf ring. tsk3. i love the ring so much. thank you sayangg. (: n thankyou tina ku sayang teman aku amek cincin yerr. (:

insomnia

2009-08-24T15:50:00.000-07:00

phew, i cant seem to sleep ryte now n its exactly 6:50 am. n im not fasting. erggh. i justed started praying back two daes ago, n guess what, yesterdae i got my redlight! grrr, geram nyer. tapi tkper. i cant seem to sleep cos i keep tinkin of baby dearest. i pity him so much that this ramadhan he has to bear with all his training, sahur ape buka ape. haiyoo. currently im editing pics so that i could upload it here. so ya. hold on.

okay time check ; 7:32 i jus finished editing the photos. so enjoy!

happy 6th!

2009-08-23T03:45:00.000-07:00

today, me and babyboi turn 6! happy 6th love! love ya so much. we spent the night at 12am exactly watchin a movie, which i forgot the title. it was way to violent n i am way to pengecut to see it coss i keep on grabbing love's hand and hiding under his armpit. aww. lol. so it goes like this. yesterdae was the first day of ramadhan. n hell yea i fasted! sape ckp aku tkley puasa? lol. so after buka straight away love came to my house to take me out. we went to bazaar for like awhile only. the plan was to go to grandlink. tetapi pasal mulot aku yg gatal ny mintak makan burger ramly, we went to bazaar instead. me athin khai n love. we were pespirin and it was fuckin pack. i couldnt stand it man! i noe, my fault. lol. so than we bought icecream (: yum2. den went back to carpark to eat. then we proceeded to PS. petaline street ey yang? lol. plaza sing, den slack awhile n catch the movie. after the movie ended we wanted to head home but it was raining heavily, the rest - its history between the four of us on how REALLY WET we got (;

i love you muhd zulfadli, you make me changed to a more matured person n u make me realise that as time past by, we are getting older not younger, therefore we shold make the best of evrything. thank you for changing me, and thankyou for always standing by my side all this while to correct n mend all my mistakes (: i love you and i promise to always be by ur side till the end my dear.

2009-08-20T23:54:00.000-07:00

ouh!! tomorrow's gonna be fasting month. whatt luck, i had a conversation with mum. funny. yeaa laugh eh laugh.

mum: lusa da puasa. make sure kau puasa n quit rokok.
fana: ye maaa insya'allah.
mum : kau tk puasa aku bilang zul.

you see! now evrytime i do sumting bad, she'll 'report strenght!' tk paham what she get from doing all that but it sure makes her happy. duhh. today im gonna meet boyfie! ATLAST! woohoo. ayang, i miss u badly ready. ): he promised to meet me by 8. lambat u kene denda ok? so i guess thats all. happy fasting guys!

2009-08-20T09:07:00.000-07:00

your arms are my castle,
your heart is my sky,
they wipe away tears that i cry
all the good and the bad times,
we've been through them all..
you make me rise when i fall

Everytime we touch, i get this feeling.

And everytime we kiss i swear i can fly

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, i want this to last,

i need you by my side.

cause everytime we touch i feel the static

and everytime we kiss i reach for the sky

cant you feel my heart beat so, i cant let you go..

i want you in my life.

OH BOYFRIEND!!!!!!

2009-08-18T02:37:00.001-07:00

HELLO PEOPLE! today is a happy day for me. yeaaa~ happy!!! oh boyfriend! i miss you sooooo much. i wonder why people say, the longer the relationship is the furthe you are from your love. well, to me.. everything seems to be the same. infact! it gets better everyday. i can say i love hym more each time i wake up in the morning and the sun starts to glare through my windows, and my dad starts to get noisy and asks me to wake up. the first thing i think about will be, my boyfriend! did he call me just now? what is he actually doing now? has he eaten? & most importantly, is he thinking of me? lol. than when i get up to wash up n go to school, i'll think.. is he calling me now? or maybe now? or maybe now? since i dun have my hp with me for the mean time. lol. then when i get back home and the maid unlock the door for me to enter. the first thing i do when she steps out to open the gate will be, ask her.. "did zul call?" then when she says yes, my mind will shout "yeay!!!" then thats it. i dont call hym back cos i know he's busy and i have to wait till night time till he calls me. lol. i dont noe why, but just to know he called to ask where i am, is happy enuf. haha. we're turning 6 dis sunday. yet, till now i dont know what to get for hym. well im so sad i lost my couple ring, and so is he. but im really sorry ya noe. it was a huge mistake. i am so CARELESS! tapi yang penting di hati tetap ade zulfadli mah! *flirty smile* haha, okay. today i still dint get baby's call and i dint go to school. i woke up at 1pm. and class ends at 1pm. stupid kan kau fana. but ive been waiting patiently for hym to call. CEPAT CALL!! haha. the only way we get to comunicate is thru the house fone during weekdaes. its getting really iritaing. but since mummy needs my fone what can i say. mama comes first mah. i have to admit la, i feel awkward. duh! hu wont. so this is totally a random post to kill my bore. i got nuthin to do. and all i can do about is talk bout babyboi! love ya!

ohhhh yeaaa?!

2009-08-17T05:34:00.000-07:00

heyho. today was an "ok" day in school. but ofcourse, the gals alwaes make me crack up till my stomach hurts. ^^, i have yet to buy my books. erghhhh. shitos. so tomorrow tina wont be in skul. ok! boring!

i miss my boyfriend already, well he did call but then, i was so shagged that i had my slip instead of talkin to hym. sorry sayang *grin* i really missed hym, since its fasting month soon, its gonna be hard for us to meet, cos puasa mah! must buka with family at home la. i want to eat at fish&co! babyyyy. can u bring me there? can can? haiyaa. ok so now im waiting for hym to call. lambat pe!

my blos looks kinda plain. looks like i need to change skin.

AGAIN!

you're not who i can respect.

2009-08-16T06:36:00.000-07:00

I am so fed-up ryte now! wtf do you want. im surfing the net, and editing my blogskin till my mum went in, and start die pe merepek ke pepek! die kata aku tngk gmba tetek2. kpale otak! die pk aku lesbo pe? aku tnga blogskin, da la tnga pening ngan url2. she makes me more dizzy pizzy! ARRRRGGG!!!!

Me and boyfriend are in good terms. he apologised to me, and i couldnt NOT forgive hym. we went thru so much n he really made an effort to save our relationship. GOOD! spent my weekends with hym. out we went to bugis to shop but we had too little time, we were too little too late i guess. but its ok. we still have next week sayanggg! well not in the mood to post ryte now.

PISSEEEEDDDDDDDDD!

NANINAYA KINABALU!

boy i miss you.

2009-08-11T02:56:00.000-07:00

today is the 11th. and another 22daes will be my 6th. in this 6months, i have found out how it feels to be loved n how it feels to love, i found out the true meaning of trust and i found out what it means to have trust. how hard it is to look after that trust and how easy it is to break it. i found out how much my family really loves me and how they will always accept me even at my worse. how they will always be there to support me, and how they will never break down and try to be strong so i will too. in this 6 months, i realised i met a guy, so passionate about us, so true to his words n yet so romantic in his own kind of ways, even though i couldnt see it at first, later i realised that what he has done for me is special in his own ways and only i can feel that treatment he is willing to share. then in those 6mnths, i saw the diffrence betwwen loyal, and also two faced friends. i came realise that all frens can share our joy, but behind us, they cover their jealousy towards what we have n what they dont. and i also knew thats some frens are just there for happiness n not for hardship. n when there lies only your true friend beside you, they are the one who'd be the pillar for you to stand straight n never back down. ive made alot of mistakes to hurt friends, my love and most importantly my family, and i regret everything. it came to me that if i dint change, i will never change and in the end everyones gonna leave me.
i just finished talking otf with love. and im left with 3 daes till he books out again. sooner or later im getting used to hym not being around. though it saddens me most of the tyme, i noe its for our best. i miss hym though. and sometymes that causes us to fight. cos we're far and always otf, we tend to get agitated easily, then fight the whole night. yet the next day, he'll call me to apologise even though it was partly my fault. he just doesnt want us to drag that small matter. it really questions me on why we are acting this way. when we meet up, we dont fight yet we laugh our ass off thinking on how stupid we were quarreling bout a small matter. lol. now is 6:08pm. he must be done from his training n waiting for his bike thingy, i find it weird firefighters uses bike. ofcourse there must be an explanation for it. but to tink of it, its just funny. ok. maybe to myself lah. :P
its been 5daes since i went to school. this semester i have missed alot of practical n theory lessons though most of it are practical. i keep on getting sick n yes im still having cough, sorethroat n flu at the same time. when there's cough theres alwaes flu. and i hate it when i board the bus and my throat suddenly feels so itchy and i cough (with my mouse close ofcourse) people start to stare at me and give me this weird look as if i have H1N1. ok stop it people. kiasu singaporeans. seriously. so i guess. till here will i update. i really miss you boboyyy.

2009-08-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

boyfriends back in camp and here i am once agaen. a loner. i miss you already swithart. to think of it i spent the whole weekend with hym, u really won my heart again. on friday we went to atin's house, chilled then went to saffron for late supper. and we met my parents at pasirris park cafe cum pub. so then we went home. then met agaen on saturdae. went to catch a movie, n bought a new top for me!! (; and sumtin bad happened between me n athin. sorry babe. love ya. so than on sunday itself, i went for fina's engagement party. bought her merci chocolates. (boyfie bought it) :) than we went to catch fireworks with baby's frens. (: i love you sayanggggg! to see such love you hand to me. i can never compare you with anyone. u have been the best n will always be the best in my heart.

2009-08-05T01:43:00.000-07:00

hello loves! time fer an update. i guess my updates have gone from bad to pathetic. maybe cos im really lazy to update. i dunnoe. i guess. lol. okay, so just got back from school. tired. & i was wrong, today turned out to be a great day. well school is getting better. i can stand on my own feet now without anybody worryin. i mean, cumon im all better. dun be scared la mama! so studies are better, since im left with 3mnths, i guess i gotta buck up. im sure im gonna miss being in school. my course will end soon ): i mean ofcourse ite bedok is hectic, and veryveryvery iritating. with all the mats n minah. but they dont seem to bother people if people dun bother them. ACCEPT for the mat kelantan group. =.=" mrepek k korg. seriouss.. mrepek abes. hope i get my bursary soon. i gotta get my books sia! im so left out. no lab sheet. darn it. so today was a splendid day. short n simple!

and im missing boyfriend right now. i dont noe yy. awww. boyfren is very 'rajin' now. text me day n night. even though he noes im asleep he doesnt fail to text me a good night n good morning. *bearhug* reminds me of the first time i fell in love with hym. he did change for a moment but now its getting better. u improved love! he pinky promised to bring me out this fridae,saturday n sunday. yipedeeyaa yipedeeyay! make sure u dun break ur pinky promise k dodol?

ohyaa! n to my ex, baby. hahah cant believe u believed my words! hah! i mean after all u put me thru? all the hurt u've caused me, u think i miss you? n he said ' i tk suke u cntct ngn jantan laen' , 'i miss you syg', 'if i want to patch, will u accept me?' ouh goshh. get a life baby! sooodaaaap kn kene balek? u did no good n only bad when u were with me. i cant remember a single moment i felt safe with you. n if your reading this i hope u just fuck off. i cant contact with "jantan laen" well im not contactin "jantan laen" accept fer you. i could call you jantan. im contacting a man of his werds dat is, mdzulfadli. my lovely boyfren! n yeaaa in ur face i am gettin engage.. i believe in retribution baby, n u will soon get ur part as what u have done to all the girls u dated with, u will get ur share! (:

so boyfriend, tell me, who do you love more. me or your r6? hahaha. u better tell me its me! i miss you truckloads! how i wished u dint sign on. 'i wish' ): i love you so muchhhhh! GRRR! geram aku. hahaha. dont giv up swithart, u already went thru so much, n to let it go, u waste ur time, effort, n money. im sure u can make it. u just gotta be stronger. for every moment u think of quitting, stop thinking of it then start thinking of me ok. heheh. tktau malu kn aku. ok so? now i have to think on what gifts im going to get for this sunday! arrrgghh!! bnyk na aku kene pk. okay la. now i gotta go n bathe. blom mandik pe. busssooook. kwang3.

well for sure i love hym more than i love my red dress. (;

i miss you.

2009-08-04T05:39:00.000-07:00

Eversince im by ur side, i felt happiness never before have i felt.

on the 9th of august, fina will be getting engaged.

i dun noe what to get.

tsk! oh! i got great news. i got a bursary award and got $770.

then at the same time my happiness doesnt stop there.

baby have changed to someone soo caring and loving.

he says he wants us to get engaged before his burfdae.

kita merancang, tuhan menentukan sayangg.

i love you so much....

tomorrow will be wednesday, and i hate wednesdays.

something bad alwaes happens on wednesdae.

to think of it lah.

now watching 'melati untuk marvel'

sodeeey. marvel lost his sight n hearings.

alaa cian boyfren aku. hahah.

so its been awhile since i met atin.

rynduuuu la!

been bz with illness n school.

menyampah!

lol.

i miss my boyfren, seems like fridae is so far away! ):

but patience fana, patience.

im so sick of eating medications evrydae.

seriously ah, tekak aku sampai da tk rase mkn manis, ke masin.

arrggh!

bile la aku nk pulih!!

love is being a pain, he doesnt allow me to werk animore.

walaoo. when i werk he make noise if i dont werk den how to get engage baby?

den how to take private diploma gundu?

den how to enrol car liscence rabbit?

he said "u tkya amek lesen cepat2 la, lesen tk lari. i kn bole drive u mane2"

den, when he drives he says " biler u nk dpt lesen? bole u drive i."

ape ny.

'bingung! bingung! bingung!' hahahah.

thats what my previous maid likes to say.

*inside joke*

i guess he just wants the best for me.

aww.

i love you more evrday my rabbit.

n im not the goldfish in ur tank eyh!

kurang asam tol.

hehe. atin meet up soon oke!

bye loves!

all the photos of the past

2009-07-28T06:27:00.000-07:00

IM SELLING TWEETYAND my MANI & PEDI SET

I LOVE YOU HUNNEY!

2009-07-22T03:07:00.000-07:00

tomorrow me n love are turning 5! i m sooo happy. we've been having alot of problems in our relationship. n yesterdae we fought till he was willing to let me go n so was i. but i noe i can never loose hym cos he means so much to me. so i bought hym sumting. so guess what i bought for hym? i bought for hym a Authentic Brand New Chronoforce Swiss Men's Watch so wonder how it looks like? see below. i hope he likes it cos i just want to see hym smile (:

2009-07-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

my phone conversation with boyfren this mornin.

we actually had a small fyte n im mad at hym last night.

so the conversation went like this.

fadli: hellooooooooo.

me: ah ape?!

fadli: helooooo bole ckp ngan fana????!!!!

me: ah!! ape la!! nk ape!!

fadli: tkde, saje jek nk ucapkan slamat pagi!

ok. thats funny ok. i just laughed. it was so cute the way he say it..

and this is the msg conversation we had.

me: ayangggggg! i miss you! youre the apple of my eyes!

fadli: i miss you too baby. . .you are the goldfish in my tank. . hehee

me: kurang ajar nye white rabbit!

fadli: eleh mashimaro ni..

kurang ajar kan!! do i look like a mashimaro to you!! GGRR!!

but still i love hym to bits!!

you just dont understand

2009-07-03T02:37:00.000-07:00

we had a huge fight, me n hym. somehow he just dont understand how i feel since he entered cd. he changed so i change. i can never open up to hym like how i used to n yess theres alot of things that you dont know now cos i wont share. but why i dont want to share is because we're already drifting far apart n it has always been about you. have you ever asked how my day went? since the start ive told u time n time again that it has always been about u. u never bothered on how my day went, instead its how everything went for you every single day. do you know that i truely miss you? i miss the times that u would tell me u love me than scroll ur hand up n down my hair n just wont stop smiling.i miss the time when u hug me so tightly saying that u will never leave me n telling me that ur love blooms every day. i missed all that cos it has all faded away in a glimpse. you no longer care. when i told you my stomach hurts early in the morning all u could say was "wake me up at 6:10" i only have you to complain to n you to be my pillar of strenght but you no longer are. idk if i mean anitin to you now. if u even want me to be by ur side. or maybe due to the diffrence of your surrounding, u no longer need me by ur side. n eversince u got into cd, u never trust me like u used to. u accused me of contactin with my ex, when they done even have my number. u accused me of contactin them silently and being so secretive towards you when im not! u accused me of making plans to go out with other guys when i dont. only my frens will noe how much i truely loved you. they will noe that i left ALL my guy frens just to be faithfull to you. and only they will noe how hard ive tried to hold on to our relationship. from the start of our relationship, it alwaes was a pain for me. ive cried times n times agaen for you. ive suffered for you. ive bleed for you. and i even wanted to end my life not for you but because of you. you told me to act as if we're happy infront of others even if we were fighting but truthfully we are both hurt n angered inside for what? just for the looks of it? if thats what you want then why must u speak of that guys name infront of ur frens? wouldnt they thing that i ever played behing ur back when i never once did that before? wouldnt have it caused shame to me? you dont want me to fight with you infront of your friends but you shamed me infront of them. how was i to react? just shut myself up like a dumb rock? i have promised to stand by you thru this 6mnths of your training. but you have maked it hard for me to hold on. you make me have doubts to our relationship n you make me realise now that im not worth as much as i used to, for you.

2009-07-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

I miss the old times when all of us spent the nites together. joking around. i neva thot our future will turn out this way. even if i knew, i'd try my best to have changed whatever i could have change for all of us to be like what we used to be.

one is busy werking with hys new job and is alwaes werking be it day or night. the other is busy with hys bond and could never turn back even if he wanted to. as they say, regret always comes later. and its left with only me n atin standing by them for support and mostly, to be their pillar of strength. and now things got more worse.. our relationship have sunk deep and all thats left is our hope that things will turn out better.. even when it isnt.

its been only 3 daes boyfren is on training to be a regular scdf men. yet when i met hym just now my heart dropped. he came to me and said that his body hurt. and when i saw hys hands and chest it really was a heartbreaker. bruises are all over hys body and i noe how much it hurt that when i touch it, he would say "ouch!" i dont noe whats gonna come next. only 3 days n this bad. if only he did'nt sign a bond worth $26000 i would have told hym not to join. after this week he has to stay in just like an ns men for 6 months and i know its gonna be a long 6 mnths. during hys ns, i had to wait till he books out. now after he ord i still have to wait for hym to book out till i get to meet hym. i cant say anitin even if i dont like it because he can never change that status and the way he feels now, i would never tink of bringing him down much worse at how low he stands now. i pray that hes alwaes safe cos thats all that i can do. i guess this is a test for our relationship n i hope this test can make us stronger than we were before. a promise he made was to engage to me by next year. lets just pray we can hold on to what we are now first before we take a step further.

2009-06-30T10:57:00.000-07:00

atin says my blog is like her old blog.

well maybe thats because i really got nutin to update. & it's alwaes been the same old. pftts. tk menarik lngsong sehh. aniwaes. i just met boyfie just now. n yeahh. i gotta admit i really miss hym. no more meeting often n no more late night lepaks for us. he's so busy, sometimes i feel like i dun have a bf, haiyaa.

so i met atin jus now. da lame kter tk lepak. so we met n chilled. n than i met bf n went to mustafa to buy some stuffs. n my toe hit this fucking pillar. saket siak!!! n now im 'tempang'. k bgos. da mcm teletubbies. and all bf could do was laugh at me. than treat me like a small girl and then laugh agae. =_=" busted sia!

i got my results n im so happy i passed! alhamdullilah tk sia2 aku blaja la kan. left with half a year the im done! woohooo. tomorrow will b wednesday. .n ill be at home rotting my ass off. i had a fite with boyfren. seriously i dun undastan guys. i mean whats hys problem? when i change my wallpaper to my pic he'll nag like old apek. den wen he changes his wallpaper he's reason will be " kite gado pe dat tyme den i tuka wallpaper ah " wah! nk feeling single?? delete skali ah gmba. biler part aku bising2 mcm pantat ayam kentot2. biler part die alasan sebakol pon tk cukop. mati tknk la. even theslightest thing pon nk mara2. hp bunyi jek tnye "sape2!!" aiyoo. bler part die. tsk3. what can i say, boys will be boys. so up to you lah muhd zulfadli!

im officially broke now. n so happen im not werking this week. mengangur la aku. school is reopenin on monday n im not ready to go to school. mumyyyyyyy! i donwan to go to school YET! i still wanna enjoy sey. ):

2009-06-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

swampy!!

a kiss before you go..

<3

we jus got back from batam. phewww.

boyfie and me had a greeeaaatttt time.

so we just passed our 4 mnths.

happy2 4 mnths.

and to my suprise boyfie wished me first

n i dint even remember it was our 4mnths. xD

so than we celebrated our 4 mnths.

n now its THE DAY!

he's off for scdf. aww! im gonna miss you lah!

cant stop being sad. i even cried infront of hym.

paiseh sia.

i guess thats it for now.

no mood to post ready..

&oh ya! i just permed my hair.

and baby loved it!

2009-06-21T15:24:00.000-07:00

ok its been so long since i update. how to update when theres nutin to talk bout ryte. so randomly lah. been busy with bf n werk. im left with exactly 1 week till he leaves me all by myself. kaw! sedih per. so this weekend we'll be going fer our hols agaen, my family n ofcourse love.. i can never leave hym out. hahas. so fathers dae was great! spent it with dad on sat at pasirris. but unfortunately fathers day itself i had to work.

ive been spending like almost everyday outside till 6am, then sleep till 6pm, so i slept just now then went to werk. forgot to wish dad a happy fathers dae since i was fuckin late. bf fetched me from werk jus now then met anis n huda at mustafa. Aliff offered me a job at the F1. should i grab it anot? but what if boyfren ask me out to the f1?? so than we had dinner. LATE dinner. or should i call dat supper? then we lepak till now. its 6.30am, i cant slip.

this few daes, i feel so down cos i noe hes going off soon. tomorrow will be our 4mnths. like so fast, but true. i noe ive been giving hym attitude problems all this while, but i respect hym for being so patient with me, n holdin on to our relationship even when i gave hym the worst, he'll alwaes try to win me. n i love hym for that. i guess i should really stop fooling around, cos by the looks of it, he really is serious to our relationship. *alhamdullilah* .

so i dint make it to the outing with all the ladies. since i overshot n slept till 5pm. stupid. so i guess i messed out on the fun, but theres alwaes a next tyme. im still looking for the oreo cheesecake ok. seriously, mcD nye is not as shiok as pasirris pond nye. haiyaa. so theres alot of pictures to be uploaded, but i cant upload it now since my fone isnt with me. faham2 la kan.

so todae i'll sleep till i dunoe what tyme, then i wanna meet boyfren, spend tyme with hym.. jus the two of us. SERIOUS yang, i gotta spend more time with u. we'll celeb our 4mnths den the next dae werk 4 me! fullshift. paiyaoooo.

2009-06-18T02:38:00.000-07:00

ouh updates!! so yesterdae, i met boyfie and even i myself dint believe that i woke up at 6:30pm again. ive been sleeping like a pig sia. gonna gain weight dis way. so yesterdae when i woke up, i was angry at bf. i oso dunoe why.. but then he wanted to mit me. so we met n bought ciggs. than soon after bf called anis, n they happened to be at Ikea tampines (huda n hym) so than we joined em'. so love had his hotdog, since thats what he aimed for since he got the. i tried looking for bailies(correct me if im wrong) but there isnt any at Ikea. anione noes where i can get em' cheap?

so after Ikea, we waited for hairul at the carpark, than headed back to my void deck. lepak2, than around 2+am we proceed to pasirris swamp. jus for the fun of it nehs. so me,huda,ayang,anis&hairul. we went hunting. -.- nolahh. we went for strolls along the swamp but we dint quite see aniting, accept for the pictures caught by huda. there were some things that could be seen. i mean obviously we couldnt see anitin, it was damn dark.

so than after swamp we chilled at whitesands 7-11 tere. look back at those pictures to discover that some things got caught at the tower. (: so i guess thats all for the day, reached home 6+ and slept till 4pm. akahahakaka.

so that all ! oh !!! and ya. boyfrens not going for the batam trip! yeay me!! :D

2009-06-16T15:38:00.000-07:00

hey!! ok so i noe its been long since i updated. chill lahh. nk update makan masa mahh. so its now 6:39am, n i noe im still not sleeping yet! this few daes its been so hard for me to sleep. dunoe why exactly. but im trying.. so updates!!

i have been werkin my ass off these few daes then spending my timewith bf. i guess thats all i can do ryte? i mean i got nutin else to do. so i went to jb just now with mum n met bf afta that. i guess i just want to spend more time with hym cos i wont get to spend alot of tyme with hym soon. ): sedey ok!

and YEAH i got my oreo cheesecake. but not at the pasirris pond 1. McD 1. tak shiok mcm pasirrispon nye la.. but nvm.. thanku love. so yesterdae mornin. i spent the time with bf. than we went to mc cafe at white sands, lucky blom tutup. so than anis n huda joined as.. and we stole a wig. haha. k keco. we basically stole a wig sia. tkpena dlm idop aku buat keje gini eh huda. hahah. kekek la kau.

we were laughing our ass out. so than we went under my void deck, which is also huda's void deck.. yup we live at the same blk.. keco kn? coincidentally. i used to think she was exsyen but she's not bad after all. kekek ahh! so back to the story. kite mamaen wig kat bawa blk kul 5 pagi! ketawa2 mcm org giler. i'll post the pictures soon. bf n anis acted like bapok. hahaha! damn sia. i still have the video. haha.

so we were tired so we went home..

eventually the eyes will meet, from there our hearts will beat.

no longer alone, but together..

forever (:

you

2009-06-11T10:01:00.000-07:00

apparantly im left with only 17 more days till ayang goes for his training to be a regular firefighter. i guess im gonna be left out again. still i pray for the best ahead. ryte now i jus want to spend all the time i have left with hym. so that he noes, even if he's busy later on in future, i'll still be there for hym. i just dont noe why, i jus keep on praying that the day wont come too soon, but its cumin REAL soon.

Right now im craving for oreo cheesecake. not just any regular oreo cheesecake. i want the one at pasirris pond cafe oreo cheesecake. boyf promised he'd bring me there on monday. Yeay!! i cant wait to eat my oreo cheesecake.

yesterday i went out with boyf. we went to tampines 1 since his fren told hym that theres a sale at esprit. so being the guy he is (sale freak) like me, haha we went to tamp 1 to survey2. and boyf bought for himself some stuff. we spent the time walkin at tamp central till we got bored. and because of hym now im eye-in a shoe at Leecooper which cost $149. ouhgosh! n im not the type who likes to wear shoes, trust me. but that shoe caught my eyes! it was like love at first sight.. aww. i guess i can only dream of that shoe ):

so we got hungry. as usual. we always get hungry half way through! boyf wanted to eat at east coast. suddenly my dad called. kirim sup kambing =.='' haha. so than when we reached east coast,to our suprise my mum n dad were on the way there too. the wanted to join us since they were bored at home. so we slacked at east coast till 1+am and headed home. reached home listened to mj12, boyf maen angin n slept till 10am in the morning. haha. keco. so we had breakfast n he headed home since hys werkin at 5 pm.

so ryte now its 1.15am n im still waitin for hys call/msg cos hys batt got flat since he dint charge hys fone. i miss you already. he's goin fer holidae with hys frens on the 19-20. and on the 27-28, both of us will be going to mersing again. and on the 29th. bubbye boyf! ): i soooo need help. -.-''

2009-06-10T11:13:00.000-07:00

kite merancang, tuhan menentukan.

kita terlalu memaksa.

maybe we're not meant to be.

lovers

2009-06-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

my kiss

hiss kiss

gatal!

4am in the morning

he's shot

i spent most of the days with my boyfie. i guess.

well on friday, was it friday? yahh, i tink fridae. i tink.

went to asp with boyfren to teman hym settle hys motorbike thingy.

he traded in hys spark with gilera.

ok lah. i dun quite facy gilera. but as long as hys happy.

good enuf ryte. (:

so from 11am i was out till 8pm. still at the shop.

boring.

but nevmind that. accompany love.

so afta he got hys gilera (motor pemalas)

haha, jangan marah eyy.

went off to hys house to hav dinner.

than back home.

aww. at that point of tyme i was happy to be home.

so i fought with hym, he went off. i slept.

kewl.

woke up at 6.30am.

went to werk. i was later. reached at 7.45am.

aiyaa. than werkwerkwerk on saturdae till 2.

called boyfiee to tell hym im done. he was shocked.

so was i lah actually. so i was still mad at hym bcos of the day before that.

so i said i'd call hym wen i reach home.

so he mati2 wanna meet me bcos a few days back i told hym

i wanna watch 'drag me to hell'

i was like 'yang, i nk tngk drag me to hell.'

'kite tngook drag me to hell k pls. pls.'

'you jom uh tngk drag me to hell'

ok non-stop.

so since i was mad at hym la kn, he wanted to bring me to the movies.

so we did. i dint want to mit hym at first.

but wth. i wanted to watch that muveee.

hahaha. so met hym, than we got better.

till at nite my leg hit the - besi kursi -

translate**

and till now my leg is blue black.

wow.

nicee. haha.

so yesterdae met boyfiee AGAIN after werk.

so we ate at magic wok.

n went karaoke. so here i am now. (:

2009-06-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

i really miss you.. not just you, i miss the old you. the one who can't see me cry. the one who makes me smile all thru the night. i miss the times you made me laugh, i miss the times you bid me goodnyte in the sweetest form of ways. the nights u held me tight, the time u look into my eyes and tell me that u truely love me. and because of a job that ure not even in yet, u changed. u let out your anger to me, you make me feel as though im not worth every bit of you. i really miss you muhd zulfadli, and my love towards u never have faded away. i never asked fer money, neither do i ask fer jewelleries. i never ask for materials all i want was ur care. i guess its better off this way. you'll be happy. and so will i, atleast happy for you. (:

2009-06-03T03:05:00.001-07:00

wow! dalam sekejap dade org tag. haha. sorry eys. maaf ckp, tpi ni blog aku. MY BLOG MY SAY. up to me wheter i wanna put her name. OR NOT! to whoever it may concern. im refering to only one person, n she noe it better for herself. i dont think i want to say her name in cyber, cos i guess it'll make you shameful. so myte as well sape yg makan lada ; terasa pedasnye. n its between me n her. she talked bout me. i wanna noe why. easy peasy. tkya nk masok cmpo. kalau die masok kubur kau pon nk lompat skali? aku mintak kn duet tina kasi die sedar. da bekali2 tina mintak die tk byr2. amacam ckp? bukan die sorg idop susa. org laen pon ada rasa susa jugak. so let it be clear to u ikin that this is between me n her n what she told my frens bout me. nothing concerns you. so why bother others life? pffts. ny bukan nk ckp ape kat alam cyber. ive called her to arrange for a meet up. so i guess the rest doesnt involve u. INFACT! nothing involves u.

had the papers today, and it was hard. superbly. tk gune blaja. satu kejadah pon tk kelua. pffts. so having last papers tomorrow n im done! (:

2009-06-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

I spent my nights nowadays thinking of how im gonna spend my live. its not easy as people think. how i wish im still in kindergarten. the past part of live have always been than. now all i can think bout is school, friends and money. & nothing else. so today i spent my whole day studyin wiith my sweethearts, tina & lyssa. we basically spend the time studying face down rite. pffts. tomorrow will be our exam. i hope its easy peasy. i hope lah. hahas. aniwaes we spent hours studying and hours bitching about this bitch.

you talked behind my back and act so angelic infront of me. and now i know what you talked behind my back. eh woman, look yourself in the mirror. cumon! ure a fat ass. no life who cant stop kissing your boyfriends ass. wherever he goes there you'll be, i think youre just afraid that he'll leave you. you know im talkin bout you. so since your so kepo your gonna read my blog and noe all bout this ryte? GREAT! you talked alot about me. and u raised my anger to a limit noone has ever done. ikot aty aku mmg aku nk tumbuk muke ko tau pompan. fyi, what you told them, they told me cos they couldnt stand the sight of you. ey sebelom kau nk bebual pasal aku sedarkan diri kau. kau tu gemok mcm babi, perot macam tong gas nk meletop tetek tk seberapa pki coli besa2. kutil pat dada pegi tarik kasi ilang k. badan kau kasi baek, kutil ilangkan, tetek kasi besa pantat kasi mampat, baru bobual sal aku. aku tk pena kutok kaw, wah bukan maen lagi kaw eh. skg amek kaw. ny baru siket. aku blom puas. i wanna see you in school. ive been calling you to meet you. but i cant get thru u. so since ure going to school tomorrow i'll see you ok. and oh ya! BAYAR BALEK DUET TINA LA SUNDAL. ade duet buat manicure tkde duet nk bayar balek utang orang. wtf do you mean by proof that u promised to pay her back. nk bayar balek duet orang pon nk bukti tertentu? dumbfuck.

ok so aniwaes. this week i'll be spending my ass off to werk. sat n sun. boohhooo. weekends, poof! gone just like that. walao. sedih. but its ok. i dun tink ill have any better plans. so i guess ill werk my ass off this holiday to spend on my needs!! (:

too much have happened and nuthing can ever make it up.

i just wish that ure love was true.

2009-05-29T02:49:00.000-07:00

im back! so i guess alot have happened since the last time i blogged. finally ive escaped from bein debarred. yup2. so last week basically, me, mum, dad, my siblings went to acheh. we went for fishing but gosh. there wasnt any fish at all. only small fishes and swordfish swimmin around. but the best part was we get to spend time together. we had a great time for sure and it was an escape for me to relex my mind of everything that happened between the two of us. hais.. so call it joyfull cos the sight were beautiful and the breeze was fine. it was the best. alot of photos were taken, but its soon to be uploaded. so since i lost my fone ryte, i got myself a new fone. lg viewty! my dream fone! exams are cumin. ive been out alot these month n i really mean alot. guess my but just wont stop itchin till i get out of the house. 2 months left till fasting month. (: mesti try puase full - red light. *crossfinger.*

and as for you lady! shame on you. blaming other for your own fault. because of you other had to face consequences. i dont think theres a need for you to act nice infront of me. and oh ya! mentang2 aku nye kpale saket AKU NK KAT MATI. wow. i dint noe u were god. ajal semua manusia cume di tangan tuhan. and mungkin itu tk termasok kaw psl prangai kaw tulen mcm setan. im sick of you bitching around on others. and praying for the worst to happen. and what do you mean by she never helped you like what your other frens do? you have hurt her before but she never stopped being your fren. find that in sumone. than maybe you could say that. your extremely pathetic. n im sorry to say. i hav never hated anyone ever since i woke up from being a spoilt child. yet now i have been hating you for you have prayed for my death. but guees what, i believe in retribution and so if thats what you prayed for me, maybe it'll hit you before me. and to think of you saying that others arent responsible yada2. look yourself in the mirror and see where you stand. (;

2009-05-08T05:28:00.000-07:00

everything happens for a reason. path may drift without us not even noticin the smallest things. as i post this i cant stop my tears from falling down my cheeks. how i wish he could noe how much i truely love hym n how hard it is to let go. everyday without fail we fight over the slightest matter. sumtimes i feel that he is so not into this relationship. i never stop praying for the best. sometimes i go too overboard until i sacrificed so much for you. i never want us to seperate. all i want is for us to be happy together. i never ask for materials. i only ask for care. when u were sick i accompanied u to the hospital despite knowing that im having my lessons in the morning. but where were you when my head was aching. i just wanted u beside me. im afraid to know the real reason behind all my pain n i just want to endure the pain as long as i can i pray for the best that cancer does'nt knock on my door. sometymes i can just loose my mind overcoming the pain each n every single day and every single minuite. but if it really is true, i just want to spend the rest of my time with you. i never ask for something more than that. just ur presence beside me. if it really is too hard for you to get me or if its really hard for you to be with me. i'll set you free. like elders said "kita merancang tuhan menentukan" n if jodoh kite tkde i can never abide god's will. i wish that you could see how much i really care and how i cry day n nite thinkin on how our story goes. & if now is the ryte tyme for us to set apart, i will let you go despite knowing how much you really mean for me n how much i sacrificed for you. but if its true that our story ends here i can never go through my days like how i used to. you are'nt just like the others, ur diffrent. we were'nt normal, we were diffrent. i tried my best to change for you. i gave you all my hopes. my life lies in ur hand and u know why. i can never see us apart cos if i wake up a day without u, its the same as waking up without my soul. im not just saying this but it really is how i feel. i just want you tobe there for me every day. i cant elaborate more cos my tears wont stop. i just pray for us. pray that u think it through n dont leave me.

ya allah, kalau betol die jodohku maka dekat kan lah kami, kuatkan lah iman kami agar dapat menempuhi segala cobaan yang engkau beri dan jauh kan lah kami dari segala godaan syaitan yg akan merosakkan hubungan kami. dan kalau die bukan jodohku ya allah. maka kuatkanlah iman ku agar aku dapat bertahan dengan semua cobaanmu. amin.

2009-05-07T20:03:00.000-07:00

this picture was taken a long tyme ago. 3 years? so much diffrence made..

first n formost i'd like to complain on how sasueyy i am this week. seriously. suey bo suey. firstly i lost my fone. =_=" as if things can get any worse. that was what i thot at first. but wth. things got more worse. i got my period this week. uncomfy gilerrr pe. sumore my head is makin me go crazy sia. i think sooner or later i'll be a depressed person for god sake. i've been having mood swings. cos things are'nt that good for me. pray that it'll gt better. so people! dun text my fone aite. currently usin bf number. only to contact hym n my parents n also sumtymes my classmate. i really need to go for a holidae. waitin for the day ayah brings me n bf to mersing. counting down the daes. im really getting sick of singapore. it's alwaes the same thing EVERY FUCKIN DAY. currently im in school. n yar. i got debar-ed from school. appeal-ed and i hope it gets approve. left wif only a few more months n i've been slack like shit. every week i go to school fer 1-2 days. i noe : pathetic. to whoever who took my fone. ok...... i'll pray for you. (: to die in a car crash or get hit by a cement lorry or maybe get struck by lightning today since its raining. i pray for your shortness in breath and for your sufferings in life. i wont want you to die that early cos i want you to suffer more than i do. that fone was meant fer me to pay my checkup on this injury on my head now im suffering n i noe allah is fair. may you suffer more than me or your other family members suffer for you *winks*.

2009-05-04T01:50:00.000-07:00

its been long since i last updated. been busy with my life.

ok whateva bz.

since when i bz?

lazy to update like usual. hahs.

so i had the greatest holidaes with my loved ones.

thursdae was a holidae for me cos there was no class.

so i went out with boyfren on thursdae.

went to downtown to catch a movie jangan tegur..

which made it clear on the video below. watch it! haha.

than after the movies we went back.

on fridae went to meet atin n khai.

went for double date.

not exactly double date lah kan.

we went to town to have our supper cos i was damn hungry but too bad for me the shops we all closed. so we walked the whole of town and alast came to a decision to eat at burger king =_="

lame abes. haha.

so had supper and we talked and laughed. then went back to my house.

we chilled smoked joke and did stupid stuff.

therefore it became another part of a video.

bf kicked the bangla's door.

haha. so than i fell asleep in my room with atin n when i woke up,

khai n zul were otw home. luckily they were still under my void deck.

so rushed down to bid our goodbye. CHEH.

than went to the clinic to check on my head problems.

the outcome was indeed very upsettin.

but i pray for the best. hope the worst wont say hello to me.

so than went home to rest. and atin went to mit khai. ok =_=" step nk jage aku je.

haha. than at nite bf came to hav supper at my house and check on me.

so than khai called to ask fer help as it was rainin heavily and they were stuck at downtown. keciaaan. took mums car n bf drove there to fetch the four of them.

farah, hafiz, khai, n atin. since khai was hungry they went to teh tarik for supper.

and i cudnt stand my head so than we went back home.

yesterdae i accompanied boyfren to hys boyfren wedding.

and it was F***in hot for them to escort.

sheesh. macam sunbathin sae.

lawl. so after escort went to EAST POINT.

anugerahhh kaperrrrr.

haha. and saw eeqah n leha. da lame giler tk nmpk dorg. (:

saw shikin n faizal too.

went back to change and all and i went bowlin with atin khai n bf's fren zul.

then my parents join us. =.=" haha.

mak bpk expert anak slenge.

hahaha. so went for supper and i went home.

and even after spendin daes with bf. i still miss him! fuckin hell.

2009-04-29T09:01:00.000-07:00

thornsamongtheroses

basically my days in school have gotten better. as usual, mixin around wif everyone. today have been a tense day n i thank wahab, dolphin n kiat but alot of thanks to wahab, for relievin me. i felt soooo3 much better now. so today was suppose to werk but tk jadi. so i thot of restin at home afta skul but instead mum asked me out to accompany her renew her line so she can get a new fone, which she did. pffts. haha. so choosy on what to choose and atlast she got the E63. its more to office2 sophisticated look phone lah. how to use oso very belit. haha. so yesterdae nyte i met bf afta chillin at tina's crib. met hym at 8+pm, so i went back home to change then went to hav dinner with boyfren and his frens. so than we went to changi south. and then karaoke. i was sooo sleepy so than we went back home at 3 n i slept like a pig.

i alwaes sleep like a pig. thats why my boyfren loves me.

hahah so okay. i got a situation in hand so i wanna see people's point of view.

tagged has this application called 'pets'. if you had a boyfren n you bought your boyfren as a pet, and then this girl buys hym, so u buy hym back, and it keeps repeating more than 30 times, what would you think? oh ya! + this girl is contactin your boyfren.. so than you fite with hym almost everyday. and atlast he told her to stop botherin hym. but she keeps on fighting for hym virtually. what will be your solution?

mine : msg her thru tagged asking nicely if they were in contact just to be sure it was here and not someone else(even though i know its her). so she dint reply ryte. fought with my boyfren over this matter. =_='' the reason being i was pissed lah! wth! its like u not happy isit i buy hym frm u than u buy back. you own hym ah?.

simple said- you can own hym virtually ; but can you own hym in real life?

dreamon fuckchop. ;D

so what will you guys do ah if it were you? curious ah. :D

some pictures of bf n hys frends. enjoy. tata~.

2009-04-27T09:50:00.000-07:00

somehow this looks like im a sombeng.

smokey da besarr.

at werk

in class

due belo.

baby driving.

& so i met boyfren yesterdae. borrowed mums car :D. we did'nt noe where to go at ferst so he decided to watch a movie. wanted to catch "jangan tegur" show at 7:15pm. but we were there late. there were 5 of us. me, hym, atin, anial & ina (bf's sis.) so we reached eng wah cinemas at 7.15 itself. carik parking seme mkn bape menit. den got a parkin lot. so than wanted to watch the "jangan tegur" but too bad too sad we were too late; so we watched "friday the 13th" instead. It was fuckin scary ok. seriously to those who got heart problems i sorely advise u not to watch the show. people laughed at me for shouting. i mean what do you expect that fucking jason is such a creep. idiotic ok, he will jus pop out from nowhere then kill you. haha. ok fana stop it. so than after the show we went to beach road to have our dinner. ate then went to chill at ford rd. the place where me and baby went for our date before we got together (: cheh. haha. so than bf sent all home at 12am. so its left with me n hym. went back to my house cos i cant stand wanting to sheshee. than we went to esso near hys house to wash mummys car. baek nye matae aku nk angkat mak aku. hahah. after car wash. we went to fetch my mum and sis at hougang since they went to jb with aunt than bf sent us home. overall i had a supendous time with bf, even though it was'nt just the two of us. its better that way. i make good bonds this way.

i love you muhd zulfadli. (:

2009-04-21T19:57:00.000-07:00

I dunch noe wat to give baby for our monthsary this thursdae. so decided to give hym this photo's n also a letter from me. hope he likes it.. *crossfinger.

my gals :D

jumpin pupils

we had a photoshoot in class. jus like a studio. :P

2009-04-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

Friends Don't Always Last
by Ashley Baron
I try to be nice, but you just laugh.I'm not fitting in anymore, what can I do?You don't realize, but it's starting to hurt.When everything's just right, it always turns to dirt.Help me, what am I doing wrong?I don't understand, I'm there when your not strong.I try to be happy most of the time, but it's getting harder now,knowing your friendship isn't mine.

we used to be the best of friends.

you used to have my back ;

while i got yours.

but now things seem to be diffrent.

even though i got close to my old fren neva meant that i forgot u.

ive alwaes rmembered you.

i remember the fun times;

the sad times

n also the times we fite.

im sorry if i did wrong.

just to make it clear..

ive neva replaced our frenship.

2009-04-12T10:20:00.000-07:00

nyam2! khai n atin makan!
sedddaaaap khai makan!

mitin bf

bf on hys bike

bf said "pantat tunjuk yang" haha

ayang kasi barney air cos barney haus.

i wanna kiss barney, barney happy.

TRIMA KASIH EH YANG fer the snapshot.

my love. my life. my everythinn. (:

i met boyfie yesterdae. met atin firz at my house to siap2 kn barang.

den afta that we went to tampines one with my bro.

at 6pm my bro went home.

me and atin met our bfs.

taunt.

than todae went to tampines one agaen and catch movie afta tat.

me ; atin ; zul n khai.

slenge, we catched fast n furious 4.

i dint noe my mum already bought the disc.

she went to jb on sat.

thot we catch the movie on sat nite ; so she dint tell me she bought the disc.

kalo tk da kite lepak kat umah aku tngk kat uma aku.

PUAS HATI.

haha. so than we went home cos we were effin tired.

now currently tatin is sleeping. mcm btol kate nk movie marathon skg da tido pat katil aku.

hahaha. ;)

so not much to post just that the picture above is frm pasts n yesterdae.

2009-04-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

i met boyfie just now. yup.. met hym around 12pm and went to settle dad's stuff. than we surveyed phones since baby wanted to buy phone. so ya. walked around tamp to survey what good phone there is. so than baby bought a new phone. than we had our lunch at LJS. we never eat at LJS together b4. hahah. so we did. than we went back to my house to give dad hys cash. den went to babys house. he wanted to charge his new phone. pfft. so than kene pakse makan at hys house. hys mum thot i had a haircut when i dint. did my hair shrink?? haha. hys mum is so cute. i like their family. very nice (: hys the first guy that i met up with hys parents. *k broken english* the first tyme i met them i was freakin scared. now not so. but still abit scared. hahah. so than after chill pill at babys house we went to parkway. dunoe fer what. but than i surveyed undergarments at cotton on. cheap sale!! the panties are fuckin nice okae. n sheer romance also got sale. go go go!! hahha. den baby bought perfume. yang, you spent alot todae. tsk3. ahah. so than i was tired plus my migrane began agaen since last nite so we went home. ayang wanted to go to st james todae but he dint go cos hys mummy said tomorrow he got orientation. the scdf thingy n he needs plenty of rest. so i chat with hym awhile just now and i told hym i wanted to sleep when actualie not yet. i just want hym to rest so he gets enuf sleep n he'll be fresh tomorrow. all the best ayang (: i hope he gets the job, its what hes been wanting all this while. it really makes me sad when he says that he alwaes doesnt get what he wants no matter how hard he tried, his frens succeed but he never does. but i noe ayang you'll be successfull one dae. you just got to be more patient. trust me. i called atin just now n shes still at bukit batok. chialat! i guess i hav to wait till saturdae fer our double date. omg. so long sia. but i hope this saturdae we'll be a great dae. im thankful now that me n bf dun fyte as usual as we did. i learnt sumtin frm all tis. never give up. cos in a relationship fyte will make you understand each other more better. give n take n never feel suspicious towards your partner cos relationship builds with trust and without trust we can never go far. CHEH GEDEGAK FANA! ayang, you noe i trust you.. it takes a long tyme to trust sumone but it only takes suspicion to break that trust, i hope he takes care of my trust and i will take care of hys. (:

2009-04-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

its 9:19am now. i donoe why dis few daes its been really hard for me to shut my eye and every day i sleep at 3 or 4 am. even when there is nutin to be done i stare hopelessly at the ceiling and still cant sleep. so yesterdae i called bf. talked otp as usual. and i got hungry around 11pm. so i told mum, so since mum wanted to fetch dad we went for supper. i texted bf about sumtin but he dint reply so i thot he's already asleep. dint want to bother hym so i came back and slept in mum's room. WANTED to sleep but these eyes cant seem to shut. so than bf called me at 2am. never has he done dat, but hu cares, i called hym back ' ny la leceh nye pki ppd n ppd low. ' so we chatted till around 3am than bf asked me to go to sleep. he blabberrrrrred at why im alwaes sleepin so late and wakin up late. but todae i prooved u wrong baby!! eventhough i slept at 4+ yesterdae i woke up at exactly 8am. called bf. haha. suare u masih stonning suare i da fresh. so he was quite shock i woke up early and ask me to accompany hym joggin. NO WAY! haha. so what. lazy bum pon lazy bum la. i noe im getting fatter so i wont eat i wont take exercise as option cos i dun like to exercise n tis butt of myne jus dont fancy jogging. haha! so than now i cant sleep agaen. i have to wait till later at 1pm till i meet bf to settle some things dad ask me to do. den we'll be out. now i feel so sleepy but i cant seem to go to sleep. ok fine. atin will be at bukit panjang till thurs? wtf. im so gonna be bored till she comes back and crash at my house agaen like the other day we went to sentosa incedent. hahah. that was funny. i blame it all at khai for playing the senario movie dvd. and thanks to hym bf atin me n also himself fell asleep at my all so comfortable couch till mornin. haha. thanks eh khai. it'll b a patient wait till this saturdae when the 4 of us will go on doubledates again. im still thinkin of wheter we should do a triple date agaen since the last triple date was farkin cock up.but since now anis n kecyk is in stable condition mayb the next tyme it'll work.? *crossfinger* aniwaes school's reopenin tis cumin mondae. omg. i cant believe it, its like so fast. bf will b goin to school too. but only the first day, wanna noe y.. because he already has a higher nitec n he's gonna ord soon so he doesnt hav anitin to do till he joins the scdf in maybe june?? so he decided to go to higher nitec agaen so as to waste time as he awaits hes time to go fer hys bmt with scdf. weirdly i dunoe how i can get a bf so crazy like this. so my first day of school will b hys first day of school n u beta watchout if u dare to "main gile" k bf. cos i surely can do it too (: but even if school were to reopen oso im still happy cos i got nutin to do everyday at home. only thing is dat i cant meet bf as often as i do now. its gonna be longgggg. so i guess tis will be my post fer now. (:

2009-04-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

Mungkin - Potret

we have been fighting.

sometimes i wonder isit worth to hold on to the relationship we keep.

it's not that i want to give up.

no one wants a break up.

sometimes its so hard for others to understand your situation.

& only you yourself cn understand it.

sometimes i feel that im asking too much from him.

sometimes he accuses me of something i don't do.

i dont talk otp with other guys.

i dont contact other guys.

my guy friends noe that im attached,

but does hys girlfrens noe that?

how does it feel to see a girl's msg to your boyfren or somewhat the other way round.

saying:

"zul! im missing euu so badly!! bz ey? da lame tk msg nina. :'("

cumon.. wth.

i dont text other guys, i dun call other guys.

but he does, and i kept quiet.

even if it hurts me, i kept quiet and i dont mind.

mayb it takes time for us to understand each other more.

MAYBE...

2009-04-04T11:43:00.000-07:00

matae aku step sexy ngan anis step macho.

lifeguard baywatch

kecyk n fana. turn ur head/

waitin fer the guys. sentosa here we come!!

bf! you suck.

2009-04-01T06:57:00.000-07:00

these few days, i really don't noe whats happenin.

we keep on fitin.

everyday witout fail we fite.

yesterdae we had a huge fite.

well he called me at 1pm and the ferz ting he sayed was;

"ay! kat mane?"

we chatted. and after 5 mins he said he wanted to bathe.

well i let hym bathe.

i texted hym at 3 and asked where he was.

silence* cricket sound eyh**.

than he replied at 8 sayin he's out with khai.

than i told hym im outside la.

at nyte text me agaen ask me where i am.

so i said im home.

than called me but i was slipin at 10.

den i called hym at 11+ and wtf! die pk aku kat lua.

mara2.

I WAS SLIPIN!

when i don't text you when i go out. u get mad.

but you?! you don't even tell me your out, even when i text, u reply afta a few hrs.

sayin ur out with khai.

i dun get it.

wtf is goin on wit hym.

i realy cant stand your attitude ah.

mornin u texted me like nutin happened. no 'sorry' oso.

this will b the 2nd last straw.

if i really cant take it baby, its betta if i jus let you go.

rather than fitin EVERY FUCKIN DAY!

today i went to my house at yishun.

the house dat was rented to a young chinese guy.

wel the stroy is. he ran away. dint pay this mnths rent.

not even the PUB bills.

the gf's said hys in DB.

but wth, hu u tryin to kid?

she was suppose to mit us todae and see the house.

bcause the house was like a shipwrecked.

fuckin mcm kandang babi.

like sumone broke into it.

and she said otp that she already cleaned the house.

so was to mit us todae. but paitao.

msg at 3 sayin she jus woke up.

than i saw her at chong pang ryte after we put down the fone.

wtf? just woke up 5 mins reach chong pang. neva bathe ah?

den she say wanna transfer the pub bills money but guess what, she lied.

the house was disturbingly dirty!

there was dog shit at the kitchen floorin.

the parquet flooring in the living room was dirty.

and the 2 room?! they were full of junks.

when u open the door it looked like sumone broke into it.

so me n only mum ok, helped to clean the house. from 10am to 6pm!

wtf. tired sia.

so than we cleaned the house.

now it will be open for viewin.

the house looks so much betta now.

Sigh~

so i guess im so tired now i wanna rest.

bf im warnin you.

selagi i masih kesah sal u ; i masih sayang.

kalau rase kisah tu da tkde ; slamat tinggal lerr.

2009-03-31T01:52:00.000-07:00

SENTOSA BABBYYYYY!!!!!

just me ; you bf ; atin swity ; khai black ; tin kecyk ; anis.

we're gonna go to sentosa~

ok aku MEMANG MCM JAKON.

like duhh~!

dah lame siot tk g.

we're gonna hav a triple date ;

and its gonna rock the bikini's off!

sounds so wrong sia fana!

ok we're jus gonna hav fun!

2009-03-29T09:27:00.000-07:00

I AM FUCKIN PISSED WITH YOU ZULFADLI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU'RE REALLY TESTIN MY PATIENCE!

ya'allah ya tuhanku. tabahkan lah aku.

kasi lah aku kesabaran.

kalaw aku tkley saba ; ikot aty aku nk bunuh je matae aku!

ARRRGHHHHHH!

2009-03-28T10:09:00.000-07:00

YAHOOOOOOOO!! im back!
wahlao. chiialat abes sak kat batam.
seriously im fuckin tired.
its like jam-jam-jam shoppin like hell.
well. i went to batam. went off at 8am in the mornin.
dint get enuf sleep cos fad was at my house till 5.30am.
we met up on thurs since he booked out at 5pm. met up with hym lepas kn rindu di hati. haha.
went to afghan to buy dads hair dye.
than went to wdlnds to meet up bfs frens. he wanted to take sumtin.
than went back at 11+ and we went out agaen with mum n dad oso to have our supper at simpang bedok.
went home and all the way bf accompanied me. esp irritated me wen i was otf with atin! GRR!
thanks baby fer accompanyin n spendin tyme with me.
i appreciate n love u more.
well so than boarded the ferry at 10+am.
ridiculously, the wait was long.
ok. not so.
but i was really mad at this mcd employee.
i ordered fillet o' fish. but she gave me pancake alacarte.
SUMORE got the chhek to say i dint order fillet o fish.
duwan to change for me lagi! walao. bingit sak.
damn girl ; i tink you work too much till u got no tyme to dig ur ears.
so than we had our breakfast and reached batam at 11SG time.
got mummy's driver to fet us and checked in to the hotel.
from the outside it looks like a motel. but the inside. damn!! hotel hilton pon kalah!
aaha. fake =_="
so we checked in and than rest fer a while.
guess what? i slept. like duhh.
than da woke me up sayin. "fana bngon!! nk shopping kan."
sap! tros laju sey bngon. hahaha.
so we went to BCS - batam city square.
shopped there. the stuff there are really nice n cheap. // you gotta bargain.
den we had our lunch. bakso!
full ; we continued to shop and bought alot of stuff at BCS itself. & i mean ALOT ok.
went back to hotel ; the driver fetched us. and rest.
i mean we were like non stop shoppin fer 4hrs.
tirin. rest awhile. almost fell asleep when dad said ''jom gi NagoyaHills" =_=" shoppin again. tk smpi 15 mins taw rest. so YA! we went to NagoyaHills shoppin center.
the biggest shoppin center in batam.
but the like to 'ketok' tourist. so you got to step like your an indonesian.
rule num 1 : never speak in eng. rule num 2: don't dress up nicely. rule num 3: always bargain.
seriously eh. if they noe your a tourist, mati katak lah kaw! summore they dun put pricetags on the marchandise.
so one time quote if your a tourist is FUCKIN XXXX. myte as well but at chichapore liddat.
so than we went to nagoya to shop again. bought alot of stuff again.
chialat2. naseb ade driver tolong kite bwk brg.
dint spend much time there aniways. +- 2hrs.
went back to hotel and rest again wash up and all.
than went for dinner. AGAIN at nagoyahills. we went to eat at GrandDuck, not bad!
the food is nice. esp the asparagus soup ; doesnt taste like asparagus. taste more like sharksfin.
seriously. so afte dinner. guess what??
aya brought us shoppin again. seriously eh.
ni kali aku pnat rabak nye.
went back to hotel. REST REALLY REST.
so at nyte me mum n dad went to the Wine Bar ; in the hotel itself.
chilled. minum air watch tv and played pool.
at 11pmSG time.
we went back to our room for massage!
yup. traditional massage.
but stupid lady urut tk rase langsong sak.
than we slept. ZZzzZZ
woke up at 6amIND time.
rabak sia nk bngon tk larat giler. wash up.
went to lobby fer breakfast. than we swam. sejuk giler.
so we chilled and went to BCS again. shopped. like duhh.
than otw back we went to the padang rest. had lunch. walked back to hotel which was onli like 4 mins walk. check out.
went to megamall afta tat. at 1pmSG time. shopped. waited fer ferry at 5.20pmIND time.
well the best part of it is ; i got to shop ; i had fun wit my family - it really made us bond more.
but the worst part is. i miss chichapore ; and also bf n gf.
(: so i guess thats all i can say.

2009-03-24T10:21:00.000-07:00

im missing bf. it's been 2 days now. 2 days is long ok! currently otf with bf.

we only get to talk like for a while. than hes busy all the way with the fuckin reception tere! i miss you.. now currently we're talking crap.

haha.. waitin fer atin to text me then conference wit kecyk. miss tem so tomorrow im gonna do my ezlink. and ask them to teman me..

so ryte na just gonna talk to love.

till then ; X3

fana.

2009-03-23T07:06:00.000-07:00

Im missing bf now.
yesterdae we met fer the last tyme.
well we spent our day at east coast. met at 6pm and had our dinner.
after dinner we sat by the beach and chit chat.
im gonna miss your smile, your hug & your kissess.
now im jammin up my tyme doin project.
fuck fuck fuck.
somehow when things become like this, i like lazy wanna go fer holidae.
dere's alot of reasons why.
so atin came to my place just now.
met her a while.
till when eyh will it b tis way.
all i noe is ; im gonna stick wit u bf.
all the way.
happy anni love.

to atin n khai ; happy anni.
to anial n hannah ; happy anni.

its really weird when frens share the same date as you ; n coincedently the same time. ;)

2009-03-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

met love just now.

went to career fair. bothof us only applied 1 job. haha. ICA.

fad ah! die suro aku apply so i did.

haha.

IM GONNA MISS YOU BABY!

we're not gonna meet fer 1 week cos baby gotta go to the forest. haiz.

then when hee books out it'll b the day im goin to batam.

im so gonna miss you love.

love you so much.

2009-03-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

i dont noe how to tell you all this. im really dissapointed with you. bf, i dont ask fer much, i just want u to be there fer me. tell me bf when u needed to wake up, who calls u to wake u up. u noe how tired i am? i dint sleep till 4am to wake you up than yet another hour pusing2 baru bole tido tinkin if u are up or mayb u felt asleep again. i woke up at 8 to go to school. do you noe how much i sacrifice fer you, since im with u i alwaes get home at dawn. 4 am 5 am. sumtymes i get scoldin but still i dun mind cos u noe i love bein beside u. sometimes when ur otf with me, you dun try to ask me how my day went. its alwaes how your dae went. but still i listen to you. when i called you to tell you of my bad day, u blame me. i just dunoe what you want. all i noe is im tryin to give my best despite u givin ur worse. i noe ur goin to jb, but till now, i dun even noe if ur out of the house or still at home. sometimes u just need the simple thing called INITIATIVE.

2009-03-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

HOLIDAYY OHHH!!!!!! woohoo! its the holidaes babyy! gonna spend my tyme with family, frens and love!! makin the best out of it(: today love had to book in at 5am. chialat. dunoe when he book out but for sure i wanna ask hym out this weekdaes, i need to see whats goin on at the career fest. chia!! dad's gonna get hys bonus. i wanna ask hym fer money haha! most prob me n family goin fer holidae at batam. shopping la ape lag. but hope jadi cos damn!! i gotta shop. huahua. so i went online jus now n guess what, i chatted with SYEDSHABIR. haizzzzz. now waitin fer atin to come to my crib n we got sumtin to do. and guess what bf ; i miss u already. we just met yesterdae but it was only fer awhile. i want to spend the whole day with you. so bf's gonna ORD soon. tinkin if how i wanna make a party fer hym. i was tinkin of buyin a cake fer both hym n khai since they ORD on the same date n atin wanna get magic candle. haha. itu conferm aku nk amek video tros post. haha. than i guess we get to go to SENTOSA. lama kn!! haiyaa. chialat ahh. gonna msg my love now. till than!

2009-03-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

so here's the pictures. enjoy!

bf's favourite pic.

apple die besar perr.

labels or love

at esp

atin n khai

otw to the movies

TPSS JIWE> kwang3

specs me

2009-03-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

been long sice i last updated.
Saturdae.
went out wit atin ; as usual we double dated.
khai's burfdae. so we went to celeb it!
atin came to my place at 12 pm. went to cs at firz. bought hys bdae gift.
went to pasir ris ; bought doughnuts! as in fer bdae cakes.
went to esp, baby drived there. stupid of us to have cabbed to khai's blk when i could have asked baby to fetch us. haha. so than we headed to esp (the place where we first mer baby (: ) and celebrated it. kwang3. so we went to m.sq. mcm belo pusing2 carik bali thai rest. so cancel we went to eat at ramen ten at lucky plaza, khai drove cos i was havin a bad headache n baby masage me. love u bby. so we ate and went to arab st to see a gig which has farah's date perfomin. (ok english broken) than we headed to changi to chill. and went home. thats all fer saturdae.

Sunday.
rest at home. chialat. fuckin tired.

Monday.
Met baby and we went to Bujjjiiiisss. bf bought clothes and we jalan2 till we had a small fite. got better so bf chilled at my house till a few am. dunoe what tyme. so then bf went home.

Tuesday.
Fuck. i dint go to school. slept at home like pig. mummy woke me up but i was too lazy to go. so i continued sleepin like a pig. at nite bf met me fer a while wearin army uniform n specs. haha. cute ok. wanted to buy asap he asked me to bring my helmet but hell it's in ayah's box and ayah oredy went to work. what do you expect. its oredy 11pm and ayah had night shift. so i borrowed mums care and ask hym to drive despite noein that he's tired. haha. busted ah aku. so than bf rested a while at my house than went home. my life is such a bore. suckish.

wednesdae,
went to school. all i can say is go to hell ok? bad mouth me at ur blog? YA u were the one beside me when my frens left me. nk ungkit, aku ungkit. waktu seme org tknk kwn ngan kaw pat skola ; sape eyh yg lawan ckp dorg tetep kwn ngan kaw? waktu dorg seme wanin aku tkmu kwn ngan kaw, kaw backstab seme, sape eyh yg duduk sbela kaw pujuk kaw and tinggal kn dorg psl nk bekwn ngn kaw? waktu kaw saket, sape eyh amek tau psl kaw smpi kol kaw pagi2 kol hosp tnye2? ohhhh! yaaa! it's me the DUMBFUCK u said who tk kenang budi. you know what gerl? i don't give a fuck bout u wheter u wanna befren or not. cumon it's not primary, dun waste my fuckin tyme with this bullshit. betol ah kate org, kwn ngan laki lag bgos dary kwn ngn pompan. ular berkepale dua. just like youuu. (: aku tunjuk kaw kesabaran aku, aku buat bodo walau pun aku da tawu kaw bobual sal aku pat blog kaw. still act like nutin happen but whyee, kaw da melampau (: simple said. aku tk perlu kwn kat ite. mak aku branakkn aku sorg. aku tk psl ah idop sorg. nnti mati pon aku sorg. jadi frm now on, guess what, aku tkkn hegeh2 lyn kerena kaw. cos u noe what. im not that desp for frens, (: so than afta skewl i went to atin's house to chill. tetido den mum fetched me at her void deck.

Thursdae.
slept at home than met bf at nyte. jalan2 n now sitting n typing (:

i wanna sleep but i can't cos i have to wake bf up at 4am. & ohh ya!!! i cut my hair! fuck, it's short but lucky bf like it. if not i cut botak. hahaa.

2009-03-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

What will you do when you've known a person fer 3 yrs and form feelings fer hym, feelings more than a fren. Will you do the same thing i did and get into a relationship with that person cos both of u share the same feelings? What will you do when u get attached to hym and one day he suddenly dissapear? When u call hym, its connected but never answered, and when u text hym, he never replys? Will you do the same thing i did, ferget hym slowly and move on, tinkin that he has sumone better than you and tinkin that mayb he's just sick and tired of you? Than again what will you do when he comes back in 2 years searchin for you high and low and the reason to why he left was because he was in jail? What will you do and how will you react? Even when ur already attached and happy with that person, what will you explain to hym? What will be your move?

baby

2009-03-12T23:40:00.000-07:00

so i met bf yesterdae. yup2. firstly i met kecyk at afghan mc, we had our luch cos perot aku da grr grr. da tkley angkat lg. so waited fer kecyk there ard 1+ pm. she came abit late. GGRRR! den waited fer atin to meet us there too. so i was effin hungry like fuck. i ate kecyk ate atin still not there yet. (hegeh2 ah ny minah) so than atin came and join us fer lunch. after lunch we headed to bedok cos i had to go to work. haiya. buss-ed to bedok than train-ed to city hall. reach there sui2 at 4. so had our meeting than talk2 and my throat was like so dry ready. haiya. then ended werk at 6.30 so i headed back to tamp to meet kecyk to buy sumtin. otw back bf called. wanted to meet me. so i bought mama cake pandan so i just asked baby to meet me under my void deck. so me and kecyk headed our own ways. wet home gave mama the pandan cake that she mati2 ngidam wanna eat. so heck. got money ; buy mummy cake. haha. so than bf asked me to meet hym downstairs. thot he brought hys bike but nope. he brought hys car. gyler. we headed to east coast and sumtin happened (: some noe but most don't :) baby's sister called askin hym to fetch her frm werk, so we did. than we sent her home and both of us headed to pasiris beach :) the place i will never forget baby ** . chilled and i ended up reachin home at 1 so baby came to my crib to chill. and sumpah aku malu gyler bpk aku mcm belo dpn die. tk pena2. kahkah, so thats all i guess. borin nye idop aku. =.="

ohh! and yes. not to forget. our couple ring! tsk3, haha.. hys is silver with black linin and a diamond in the center and myne is exactly like hym only gold linin. i wonder why theres a diffrence in colour. atin says its because its feminine for lady and black is bold fer man.. hmm.. oh well...

i love you baby. you could see it in my eyes. each tyme im with you i can never stop smilin. so neverever sae that you can't make me happy. cos you alwaes do ' even in the smallest form of ways.

2009-03-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

im soo bored at home now.

went to school as usual. pffts.

i kinda miss my classmate esp the times i spent with tina (:

miss her loads. but seems like tings are diff.

dunoe y. but its ok. i'll just keep quiet bout it.

just hope everytin will b fine soon.

my face still aches.

im still in so much stress now.

i need relaxation. haiz.

2009-03-03T07:42:00.000-08:00

our frenship necklace

yup!! we pierced our belly! atlast seyhh.

so i had a great weekend.

yesterdae met fad.

(: we went to catch a movie.

at first we went to tm.

butten no "role model" show so fad wanted to catch the show at ys.

so he asked " nk gi ys " so i said. "suke aty u lah. yg bwk u kn bkn i" so than we went to ys. gile. he wanted to take hys R6 but me wearing mini skirt. and my bag and the wet road, he said its beta we went wit hys spark. so i said ok. and my but ache! walanehh. kekeke. so than we went to ys to catch role model, bahh! gerek2. serious. hahha. so that was all. and oh ya! i did my napfa test yesterdae! nnccb. hahah and today my leg is aching. crazy. atin wore my uniform and went to my school to teman me do my napfa. keco per! haha. feeling2 kakak ite la ddeyy!!

saturdae night feva

2009-02-28T00:05:00.000-08:00

saturdae.

its saturdae n already 4 pm. how time past so fast. yet now im still at home not with my messy hair boxers shorts and a t-shirt on still dunnoe what im gonna do till 5pm later till i meet atin at inter at 5.30pm. haiyahmah. so todae's weather dont look so good. im still like bopien now dunoe wanna go out not. but definitely hav to go out, since i have to collect sumtin me n atin bought at CS. pfft. so todays plan. hmm hmm. dunoe yet how the plan werks todae. but most probably its gonna be meetin atin at 5.30 den collect our things. im gonna hav to find a belly stud. hmm. gonna pierce my belly todae. takot2 siket ah. hmm. so after that gonna meet fad at nyte wit khai and atin. still no idea where to go. let them plan. kwang3. so guess thats gonna be my plan fer todae, borin ryte. i noe! keke. i wanna catch the movie "confessions of a shopaholic" ah! still dunoe with who. tkde kaki nk ajak. mayb i should ask fad out to catch that movie with me. (as if he's alwaes free!) hahha. tell me the ratings of the show ah fer those hu have seen it. hu noes its borin. then i'll be wastin my $7.50. fer what f*. hmm. so still tinkin of goin to sentosa with the guys and atin. but they're f* bz. have to wait fer their off dae. when both get off then off to sentosa! woohoo! can i play kite at sentosa or not ah? still havin the cravin to fly kite. still a mission not completed sia. hahaha. so i guess have to wait fer the green light to sentosa than its a hoorraaayy fer me. kekeke. so i guess thats all i can update fer now. hav to siap2 ready. later if im late mampos aku kene maki. (fad! standby perot i ding2) kahkahkah, till then. sayanora.

happiness.

2009-02-24T21:15:00.000-08:00

been long since i updated.

life has been a piece of shit.

i wanted to see who sat by me when all this happened.

but now i see, that someone loves me.

i wated to see who cared ; and who dint.

now i can see the true frens ; and the aligators

slithering amongst my life.

a snake in the grass.

the grasshopper in the tree.

the whale in the sea.

the people in the house.

K FANA KAROT!!!

so these few daes i've been spending tyme wit frens.

be it in skul or outside.

prrr.

manyak2 story.

but only can update alittle bit.

valentines day :

went to met atin. ard 3+ slack till 7 and met some people.

went to watch benjamin button.

BORING!

2/10 rating.

serious shit. boring gile. dun waste money on it.

we had couple seat and extra 1 seat.

so 5 seats in total.

me & atin made the movietheater like our own house.

kekekeke,

so than after the show we went back and chill pill at atin's crib.

22nd feb. met atin at 8pm under my void deck..

me with no eyebrow drawn no eyeliner.

CLEAN per.

haha. den suddenly fad ckp nk jmpe at 10 pm.

we were so selekehh.

kekeke.

so we met them 10++ pm.

went to pasir ris water breaker and sumtin happened.

ehemehem. ( not sex ey dolphin! )

on the 23rd feb at 2+am.

((:

so we slack till 4+

and went home to atin's place.

so thats the latest update.

till the next update than.

takecares.

2009-02-18T08:26:00.000-08:00

2009-02-12T07:22:00.000-08:00

hello little boys little girl.

so yesterdae was quite a borin dae. full shift. like fuck. so we chilled at school. and alast lepak outside skul. so after that wanted to lepak but it was rainin sia. so i went home. slept. and last2 tebangon psl ade org gado. irit. tk nyaman ah. balek ruma org nk rest pon tk ble. geram sia. asek beleteh2. GGRRRRR.

so just came home. this few daes have been a bitch. eversince the incident that dae father has since stop talkin to me. so todae since theres no lesson i woke up n dad was awake. he gave me the cold shoulders. as usual. pfft. so i decided to go out. it was already bout 1 pm++ since he dint want to talk to me what for sit at home. so since i msg-ed tina she dint reply. maybe she was bz, so fad asked me out. hes been askin me out since yesterdae. so i agreed. fetched me downstairs. went to vivo. catch a movie- underworld. best sia! but gore ah. too gore. its like im hiding under his armpits. hahahha. sorry. hahah. but damn! i had fun. so we lepak at vivo. chit chat. den nmpk lesbo makin out. disguistin peee. hahah. so than we continued talkin and he sent me home. haha.

past

2009-02-11T00:15:00.001-08:00

forget his name

forget his face

forget hiss kiss

his warm embrace

forget the love that you once knew

remember he has someone new

forget him when they played your song

remember you cried all night long.

forget how close you once were

remember he, has chosen her

forget how you memorized his walk

forget the way he used to talk

forget the things he used to say

remember he has gone away

forget his laugh forget his grin

forget the dimples on his chin

forget the way he held u tight

remember he's with her tonite

forget the time that went so fast

forget the love that moved, it's past

forget he said he'd leave you never

remember he's gone forever.

2009-02-10T07:07:00.000-08:00

fana & tina belo. stella step cute. ayn paitao.

tkd keje

smile ladies. tina stop it eh.

bahh!

so as they say ; frens make your day. so do mine. heh. now im gonna post once a week, so this is my post this week. bahhh! so this week has been the pathetic week. i fought wit my mum bcos of that dumbfuck.

i mean , ape lagi kaw nk dary idop aku. lepas ape kaw da ckp pat aku slame ny. kaw da caci maki aku, kaw da ckp aku mcm2 skg pndi kaw carik muka dpan mak bpk aku. puki lah kaw eh. get tis straight. I HATE U N FUCK OFF!

so school has been as usual. missed alot of lesson. takut sehh love letter dtg uma. havin my test this cumin mondae. project blm start pon buat. hehhe. mls pe. haha.

so i met a fren whom i've noen fer a long tyme [FAD] so we met on sundae. i asked atin out since that fucker came to my house and i badly needed to go out cos i cudnt stand to see hys fuckin face. ass much. so i called atin up and made plans to meet her at tamp inter. so than da siap2 and dat fucker came. so than i saw hys face kelam kabut siap. than mummy scolded me fer not talkin to hym. so what. so i went off just like that. lupe nk amek duet. et atin at afghan. so patah alek umah psl tkd sen nk gerak. so took cash n went off ard 6+ . we went to m.sq to have our dinner so i called fad and asked hym if he was free to mit us. so he said yes and we met hym and hys fren khai at esp. so kecian khai lapa. tepakse la kite ajak die g mkn. hehe. so they had dinner. haha and so we had no plans after that. as usual i was f* stress. so we went bowlin!! haha. and it was hilarious. atin cmpk bola sak. and aku pki due tngn plak. haha. gler. they were pro's sae! hahaha. so than after we bowled and laugh alot we decided to go to meet up wit their frens. so we went to arab street and sheeshad. hahaah. klaka ah tu. haha. than around 2 am we decided to go to marina barage (correct me if im wrg) haha. fad khai n their frens maen lumba sak pat expresswae. SERAM LA SIA. haha. so we were at marina barage and hell it was f* cold. hahah. so went off ard 4+ and went to tamp mc. da smpi tamp mc tros muke aku da tk rase. laju la sia dorg. gler. so had breakfast and went home. joyful joyful. haha.

school jus now was bored. me n tina reached at 1+ class was at 1. we went for our lunch. sempat. aha. and so we smoked and entered class at 2+ haha and class ended at 3+ baek. so than i went back. cleared things. and met wit smallboy-an wit atin. die yg nk sngt jmpe and talk. so ok. so we had dinner and went home. so thats all.

to you dumbf* dont bother me animore. pls. get off my back. thanks.

fanaapple

dempo snow

2009-02-06T03:24:00.000-08:00

been long since i updated. i noe dat. stop tellin me to update cos ive been fuc*in bz with school n stuff. summore now no maid lecey. its really hard now. have to be independent i guess. chialat! aniwaes ive not been feelin well lately. this few daes has been damn hard fer me. spent most daes at home n somdaes out with the ladies. we've been having outings fer quite awhile now. been bonding better than how we used too. great!

i guess valentines cumin n i'll be spendin my dae at home. sorry. i just cant go out that easy nowadaes. too many things goin on in a blink of an eye. i dun have to elaborate do i? hahs. so the month of love is here and me im out of love. no more love fer u u notty gal! (well atleast thats wht they think!) hahah. got loads to talk bout thou. ive been thinkin hoe to post. shall i post everydae but wit short post or post once a week so its longer and easier fer people to read and scroll? wadcha think? ok guess i'll have to wait for ya'lls answer on that. now lwts just talk on valentines. im sure theres gona be loads of fuckin couples on velentines dae. the sight of them makes me jealous. ok so what if im jealous. who isnt ryte? haha. cant wait to hear who'se gonna date who on valentine. woo. so i heard theres gonna be a promotion at ITE Semei ryte? so fer those who dont noe bout it (only ladies) on 13th of january there'll be a promotion. fer those who wanna perm their hair. perm + colour will be $16 bux. and fer rebondin is $24. well thats what i heard! hah! but may i suggest if u want it to be perfect than DONT. cos students are gonna do your hair. baaahaa.

so i've been using this cream from dempo snow and hell it doesnt work sia. mama bought about 4-5 of the little stuff and bingit giler pe benda tu tk werk so i went online to check it out and this was what i got.

I have been using it for a month, everyday - if I could remember it. My face still have pimples around the chin. During that Jan, I had pimples on my forehead but not on my chin - ate too much biscuits even before CNY hoho. My legs still have scar marks.
As for removing the dead cells, the mask dries up and when you sweep over it (hard & repeatedly), the dead cells come off together with the dried mask. Afterwards, the skin does seem smoother although not fairer.
I still have 2 more bottles to go. I have to say, the effects are very mild.

so i have to say " fana tertipu tertipu tipu tre fana" hahaha. dun buy it lah. its hell of a nonsence. so any ideas on what makes your face more 'cerah'? if there is pls do tag at my tag board k. aceyy. so i guess thats all fer today. i got sum photos. so enjoy dudes n dudettes!

ulala/

2009-01-29T01:58:00.001-08:00

hey yall. been long since i update huh. well now's already the 29th few more daes to february. the month of love. woohoo. so how shall i spend dat dae. hmm. hahah. step tk tawu plak eyh. aniwaes. this month is basically the stressfull month fr me. all the irits and bozos won't quit makin other people's life miserable will day? hah. well actually. not all of my daes this month was a bore. i had fun too. destress tymes with the ladies and my new fren din has been a blast. we'll not that bombastic cos some were "paitaokia". you noe you! haha. but put that aside destress tyme was basically. . . destress! haha. im livin my life as a single but not available person now. live your life. eyeyeyeyey. haha. so school has been great. as usual exams and projects already started. i mean wth. are they tryin to make people grow white hair. haha. in school its already so stress-ome. (is there such word?) and when i get home its more stressfull with a fuckin bloody maid who's fuckin rude. attitude. can you imagine her talkin to my mom in a high tone. who does she tink she is. i gave her my thots jus now jus felt like punchin her. she was otp with her fren at around what ? 1 pm? wth. working hours sia. give n take ah. den i told her dun talk otp durin workin hours and she said " skejap je bole pe, ,saya ada masalah" wtf. i was damn bloody mad at that point of tyme and i said "kaw tk phm pe. jgn pki tepon time keje kaw pk kw sorg ade masalah? seme org ade masalah la ey. kaw bobual aku cmpk tepon kaw kat lua tingkap." bloody hell she made her "fuck face" i feel like kickin her ass. sumore she can say to my mom "ah, saye nk report kat MOM" like wtf? we dont abuse you la bitch! i let you sleep on my queen size bed every nite all by urself like your a fuckin princess and you say that we're mean to you. HELLO! if you did no wrong i don't thing theres a need for people to scold you, you're a two face bimbo actin so nice infront of us yet so evil at the back. i've been so patient sia. its like evrydae i have to bear her nonsence. i could have gotten high blood at a young age. imagine a new brand clothin which i havent even wear once got torn in her hands. wth? sicko. enuf talkin bout her. im like boilin sia, so tomorrows fridae. im gonna be so bored. =.=/ guess i just gotta go to school and get home to see her face agaen. pffts. okluh. so i guess thats all i can post ryte now. i have to babysit an old maid to stop her from doing stupid things and all because of her!!!!! my thursdae nyte will be spent at home. grrrr. sayanora.

oo

2009-01-20T06:31:00.000-08:00

schools back!!!! ((: i miss my frens so much last dpt jmpe. its been fun n crazy. hahah. to noe more click at tina weenie slawbelly so you can see what we did in clas. like wrappin lissa up in plastic ; me makin funny faces and censored photos (fuck!) and a drawing of naked woman done by fana (: hahhaa. my gals sure make frowns turn upside down. heheh. aniwaes. tomorrows gonnabe a school dae. 8-6. chia-lat! so i guess i'll be in school waiting fer the tyme to go home!! GGRRRR. hehe. todae as usual was a so called fun dae n funny dae. my so called gloomy dae turned out to be fun. n i hope lyssa feels better now. its not sightly to see your fren sad. ): tina balut tngan skg. accident. haha. ila with inhaler n boys. haha. n ayn the so called quiet girl is now wild like crazy. haha. da brani eh!! haha. so just now during yar's lesson we had to do some i donoe what fuck. amplifier i think. we had to connect it to the microfone to see if we noe how to make it work. haha. and from there it became KARAOKE time. hahah. stella was singing; tina nyanyi lagu hari raye. stella nyanyi lagu tabah. wth. hahah. but it was great though. da mcm karaoke box. haha. :P rmber when all 5 of us used to seperate. well now we're back together agaen. n i guess frens are alwaes there. (: tinaaa sygggg tooolloooonng delete post kaw yg ade gmba mrepek aku. k tlima kasih lohh. (:

you should have thought bout what u say. in my dictionary there's no such thing as second chances cos i noe history will repeat itself. so think before you say. now since you've said it i dont think i have to face u animore cos the sight of u makes me sick. see how i enjoy my life now so fcuk off cos i don't need someone who brings me down. as long as i hav my gals. its fyne with me. asshole much.

bloggg.

2009-01-08T17:10:00.000-08:00

long tyme no update. currently in school now. stella kepo bace2. tadi aku maen comp die off. tk mcm suar. so mitin bf soon. yeayy. ila nye rmbot ade cacing. hahaha. ((: gmba lamee sae. hahaha. thats basically it. stakat nk buang masa jek. updates soon. bye!!

2008-12-22T01:05:00.000-08:00

sumhow.. as days past ; and as i look back to what i want. i realise that i wanted sumting that deep within i really din't want. that was to force myself to like sumone whom i really dont like. i guess its true that im just lyin to myself. so as u noe i made a diffrent step now. basically now ; im not contactin with ANIONE accept fer the finest who are my families and my bestest best frens. and now im trying to start a new. no more forcing myself to like that person. dun be stupid lah fana. who are you kiddin ryte? hah. so the past few daes have been busy. i've been out with mummy fer those 2 daes. shoppin when the suns up and bowling when the clock strikes midnight. hahah. yesterdae i met a new fren. should say that it was nyce and goin smoothly. i'll upload our pics wen i get hys permission. hahahah. (: so thats basically it. im so tired that i woke up at 5 pm todae. ayah was asking me to wake up since just now but i still sleep. haha. just so restless. so thats all fer todae. and fitRee, nyce bumping to you dat dae at the bowling centre. long tyme no meet ahh. getting prettier by the min (: tata~!